poorlady's picture
poorlady

Need suggestion

I am married from last 3 year and having boy child. My brother in law and his wife is staying with us. I am a working lady and previously my MOM in law used to stay with us and look after my child.After my sis in law came , she convience my MIL that she can take care of my child so that my MIL can leave for native place. After my MIL left for our native place, now SIL started showing her real nature. She is complaining that she cannt spend so much time to take care my child and other hous hold work, even though i have hired two maid servant for her help. Now she want to join some job immediately and MIL is not willing to come to join us. My husband is not willing to send our child to day care.I cannt leave the job , as our financial condition is not good and also my husband dont want me to do that. I am really feeling very bad of my SIL's nasty tricks. She created a good amount of misunderstanding between my hubby and in laws..I dont know what to do in this situation.



Kara's picture
Kara

Seems like you're in a difficult situation. If your husband doesn't let you leave the job or take the kid to daycare, and if he understands the situation regarding your sis-in-law, then what else does he suggest to solve the issue? Doesn't he suggest anything?
If your mother lives near your home,maybe you could leave the child at your mother's place, or maybe your mom could come to your house to keep her grandson?
It's bad that you aren't on the same page with your husband.
the onyl solution I find normal is that you find a good daycare and take your child there in order to avoid having to deal with this. Talk to your husband. Describe the situation in every detail. Hope this helps. Good luck!

acitez's picture
acitez

You can afford to hire two maids to help with the household chores. Can you give up your salary, do the chores yourself and live on a single salary?

poorlady's picture
poorlady

Previously i thought to do that only but fact is, only 5% of my salary is going to maid servant and remaining are spend for my family requirement. Also my hubby's salary is less in comparision to mine. After 4/5 month my child will go to play school. so if i leave the job now,then it may be difficult to get a new job at that time and also my family is in a bad condition of debt.
but Thanks for your suggestion....

acitez's picture
acitez

My son-in-law is in your husband's position. My daughter makes a good salary. She had twins this summer. My son-in-law is taking care of the the two 3 month old babies. It is exhausting, but he believes that it is the wisest thing to do. Because my daughter is an RN, her husband feels it is very important that she be well-rested when she goes to work, fatigue could lead to a fatal error. So when the babies are up in the night, he is up providing care and comfort. When he is at home with them in the day, he is providing care and comfort. Also, because he is a man, the young mothers in the neighborhood are less likely to come over and give support than they would to a woman, there is concern over propriety.

It sounds like you make a good salary. Perhaps you could scale down your "family requirements", talk to your creditors about reducing the interest rate, perhaps even the balance, and extending the payback schedule, and your husband could follow my excellent son-in-law's example, give up his job and take care of his child and household.

poorlady's picture
poorlady

My husband is also thinking in that way...he is saying that if it become neccessary that one of us have to leave the job then he will do it. But I am trying to find out some balance solution. If we found no other way, definitely we will follow that..Thanks for your suggestion.