gregfromca's picture
gregfromca

Need help. My daughter told me I have to get rid of my Girlfriend or else

I was married for 25 years. I always told my wife I would leave when the kids were of age if she didn't change her moody, complaining ways. When my daughter married and my son was 19, I met the love of my life. I divorced. My 24 year old daughter told me if I stay in the relationship with this new woman, I can never have a relationship with her or my grandkids. I had an EXCELLENT relationship with my daughter for the first 23 years of her life.

I'm stuck. I love my daughter. I love my girlfriend. My daughter says I have to choose only one. She says this new woman is the reason for the divorce etc etc.

Any advice?? Please



mayamay's picture
mayamay
Ultimatums are rarely useful in the long run. There are more effective ways to motivate people. It could be that your ex-wife had untreated depression. Now it seems that your daughter has given you an ultimatum. Because you divorced after you met the love of your life, it is logical for your daughter to believe that you and your ex-wife could have worked through your problems if this woman hadn't come along. If you had been very disciplined and divorced before you began any relationship (openly or secretly) with your girlfriend, that would have been easier for your daughter to tolerate. As it is, my only advice is that you see if your ex-wife will explain things to your daughter, she has more credibility than you do.
gregfromca's picture
gregfromca
Thank you very much.