Provogue's picture
Provogue

My in laws are horrible people

Hi all! Iv been married for almost 8 months now and since my husband is an immigrant in the united states it took 3 months to get my visa.. That time i stayed with my in laws for about a month as such things are common in india and i had to hear a lot of derigatory statements from them. They would say stuff like o have u ever seen 5 star hotels, do u know this and im the best sorta stuffs. They would sometimes demean my parents and call their upbringing the best! And also there was a festival one day and my mother inlaw asked me where my jewels were and if i had given it to my mother.. That did it.. How can anyone say such a thing to a bew family member.. My father in law also is equally pesky and would annoy me with hurtful remarks. The day i was flying to the united states they even said things like o that girl's parents need to know how much we have apent on her and stuff.. I have just stopped speaking to both of them now because things were said time and again which is very hurtful to listen.. And now im in the US minding mine own business and these people have been apparently talking ill about me- stuff like she has brainwashed our son and she does not even talk to us, see how bad she is.. I have no idea how to deal with all this.. I just feel like dlying back going up to them and say WTF are ur problems? Why do u do this?! Guys help me.. Wot do i do in this circumstance.. I feel like going up to these relatives and tell them what all they have said and done to me to deserve this reaction.. Im soo sad and pained by all this politics!



Provogue's picture
Provogue
Thrre are soo many typos.. So sorry.. Im typing from my cellphone
chjmk's picture
chjmk
Well, it sounds like there's a cultural difference that is going to take patience to navigate. You have to sit down and tell your new hubby the facts of what's been said and then ask what he thinks--with a willingness to hear what he says. You have to involve your hubby right away, but as a helper and problem solver. You are going to have to deal with these people the rest of your life, and it just sounds like you all have similar attitudes of discouragement and I think that's common. Being newly married can feel very overwhelming once you realize how much your life is going to change. It is possible to set some boundaries and communicate with a sit down that involves you both and his parents. What's not possible is to change their attitudes, because that's up to them. Just hold your head high and don't give up. For your part, treat these people as if they are co-workers and you are at a job (aka your marriage) you intend to keep and enjoy. Don't let them spoil your bliss.