yup's picture
yup

My girlfriend decided to break up with me but I still love her.

I hope this is the right room to post this in… 

It’s been a couple of weeks but I’m
going crazy. I’ve called her twice (I now that was a mistake).

When we first met I had a cocaine problem
my world was practically hell, until she came into my life. She had no tolerance
for drugs, so I quit cold turkey, because I new she is the one girl that I will want to be
with for the rest of my life with.  I feel
like she saved my life, and I would do anything for her.

She is a virgin and so I decided to
wait till she was ready. Nine months into our relationship she decided that she
was ready to have sex. She got birth control and then just before our 10 month
she broke up with me.  I just don’t get
how she could have lost all that love for me in just one month.

During that one month period we
fought a lot. School had just started and I work on the weekends and weekdays to pay for my
school.  I couldn’t see her as much as I
wanted to and I new we were in trouble, but I never thought she would break up
with me.

When she broke up with me she said
that she “loved me but she was not in love with me anymore.” I just don’t get
what that means.  How does this happen?
Why did this happen?

I look back and see that I was
really jealous when she hung out with all of her guy friends (She’s a flirt but
doesn’t know it, she’s also very pretty but doesn’t think it), she is also very
small and easy/fun to pick up but the only problem is that other guys liked
doing the same to her.

All my friends say” it’s a phase
that women go through”. They say “she probably got scared of the idea of being
with one guy for the rest of her life.”

I love her to death. I want to hear
the words “I love you” one more time from her. I want to call her but I don’t want to
lose her.  I want to be close but I’m a afraid
of losing her. I’ve tried to look at other woman, I’ve even flirted with a few
but none our like the girl I love. I’ve been able to get off drugs but it is so
unbelievably harder to stop loving someone.

I’m currently twenty years old and
turning twenty-one soon and she nineteen, I know we are young but I now what we
had and the love I still have for her was and is real. I miss her so much and it feels
like my insides are being torn apart. My dad says that this pain will go away… and
I keep telling myself this but, it just won’t go. I miss her to death and love
her.

What should I do?

Should I write her a letter or email her explaining how I feel?



yup's picture
yup

I forgot to mention that I wrote her a letter the first week we broke up it read:

Dear [love],

I’m sending u this letter because I really want u to think about us. I just wanted to let you know that what ever you choose I will still always love you. If choose not to be with me, I will be hurt, but maybe it’s for the better. But if you choose to be with me, I promise things will change.
I’m sorry I got all mad at you when I saw your facebook picture. From my point of view all I could see was [z] all over you. I should have known there was nothing between you and [z], and I should have trusted you. I was just really afraid of you leaving me. I never meant to hurt you when I yelled at you.
I’m sorry I cant see you as much but I’m working on that, now that I’m getting settled into my classes and cut back on work, I will have more time for me and you time.
Three week ago I called for a break because I wasn’t happy, and I didn’t know what I wanted. But with that little time away from you, I knew for a fact, that I was in love with you. I want you. I really want us to work. I love everything about you, and I can’t replace you. I promise I won’t leave you, and for the past year I couldn’t eat, sleep, do Homework, or anything for that matter without thinking of you.
I do really stupid things, and I learn from mistakes. I also know for a fact that you were never a mistake and probably the only thing that I have ever done right (I hope that make since). I love you, and I think my biggest mistake of my life will be letting you go.

Your love,

[Yup]

PS: I love you

I did this the first week we broke up. she came back to me for only a week but then called it off after we went to a party and i got drunk. (i know i f'ed up. So now i feel like i lost her for good.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I've been there, and it's not a fun feeling. Give your ex some space. Surround yourself w/ supportive friends and family. You are still young, and as hard as it is to believe, if you don't get back together w/ this girl, you will meet someone new. Focus on you, and try to keep busy. The last thing you want is to fall into a depression and end up back on drugs. Don't blame yourself. Just try to look forward to the future. If this relationship is meant to be, your ex will come back to you. Otherwise you'll move on and find happiness w/ someone new. Hang in there!