Dee Dulcie's picture
Dee Dulcie

Marriage

Hi,I am married for 6 years,but together for 9years. This is my 3rd marriage. I have 2 older kids&2 younger ones,12 & 14yr old boys. My husband hates my boys. They in highschool.We have marrital problems & my husband blames it on my boys. My husband is a big bully & can be very abusive.He swears alot & when we have arguments swearing at me infront of my boys.My 14yr old copies his behaviour & misbehave at school.We moved from South Africa to Ireland cos my hubby is working here. I have my own house in South Africa. We renting a house in Ireland for the last 6yrs.My husband wants me to pay rent for my boys cos he claims we use most of the room here. I end up paying half of the rent and are paying all the bills-tv,broadband,gas,electricity and food. I bought furniture for the house, he only pays half the rent,his contract phone,car insurance. It's my car, so I pay the road tax while he uses it for work.I do my own housework, cooking,ironing,cleaning.He smokes alot,40 a day.When he comes home then he will look for faults to pick on my kids. I can not take it anymore but I'm so ashamed to tell my family. They weren't happy for me to get married a 3rd time. The minute we got married,he changed. He was married before & have 2 kids. He can find no fault in them & are perfect in his eyes. I want to leave but invested so much in this marriage. If I leave now then I will have to leave just with me & my kids. He will keep my belongings or will dispose of it. I can't afford to ship my things to South Africa cos all my money goes into this household. Please give me advise.



mayamay's picture
mayamay
So, what is the question? You think your family will make life more miserable for you and for your children than this man does? I guess they could, you know them, I don't.
Dee Dulcie's picture
Dee Dulcie
I just don't know what action to take. If I do leave now& go back home then I will put my boys through difficulties with the languages they should do to pass to the next grade in school. My only problem I have with leaving is that I don't want to uproot my boys knowing how difficult it was for them to adapt to a new lifestyle in Ireland. They so happy here. Will I do them an injustice if I do move back? I discuss this with them & they prepare to stay on in this environment whether happy or not as long as they don't have to move. Do I listen to them or do I leave. My kids dads died& have no backup from them. I'm at my wits end. I want to leave but I'm also so scared.