Husband spends no quality time with wife and child
My husband and I have been married for 12yrs. We have one child..a daughter who is 6yrs old. My problem is he is an absent husband and father. He was married twice before and has a child from each marriage. He is estranged from both children...long story. I do talk to his other daughter who lived with us for awhile however her mom was always causing problems. My frustration is I thought my husband would appreciate us because he led me to beleive he wanted the same things I did. He thinks because he goes to work, doesn't hang out in bars and does some house cleaning he is husband of the year. We have tried coundeling numerous times but it falls on deaf ears. I am so tired and resentful these days because I am lonely and feel like I am sophocating. I spend all my time at home with my daughter. He finds every reason to be away from us and when he is here he might as well not be. I have asked him to take our daughter away for the day so I can get things done and have some time for me but he can't seem to do it. He gets upset because I don't want to be intimate with him...he doesnn't get it. He is very laid back and expects me to take care of everything but yet he is all gung ho when it comes to doing things for other people. He asks why I have so much contempt torward him and I basically say nothing anymore because it does no good. He doesn't do anything with me and our daughter but he expects us to do what he likes. We can't have a normal converstaion because it always turns into a fight. For the most part I keep my mouth shut to avoid a conflict because I don't want our daughter to have to hear it. I work full time and I am tired..he says he is tired of hearing I am tired. Before we were married he would jump for me and told me I worked to hard and now it is like he married me to take care of him. He does nothing special for me. He wants me to be intimate but I can't because it just feels like sex to me and that isn't what I want and nothing changes anyway. He knows how I feel about divorce and I think he takes advantage of my belief. I do resent him for treating me this way, I hate that he makes everything about him and that he doesn't appreciate me and all I do. I sometimes think it would be better for all of us if I left with my daughter because I honestly feel like we are a convenience and inconvenience for him. He complains about everything...the traffic, the public, the roads etc..we can't go anywhere without him focusing on the negative. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to go anywhere with him. I try to talk to him about it but he takes everything like a personal attack and makes it all about him. Has anyone ever dealt with this kind of person...He is like Jekyl and Hide. I am at my witts end. I don't feel like it is ever gonna change and I am worried about staying and my daughter having to live like this and I am worried about it affecting her if we leave. I try to tell him that we are starving for his love and attention but it just seems like he is lazy when it comes to us. His other wives for unfaithful...sometimes I wonder if it was because they were lonely also in the marriage. I got married for companionship and someone to share my life with...I am so lonely and I am feeling it physically. I feel so tired and depressed all the time. I don't expect things to be perfect but this is ridiculous. Thanks for listening.