Horrible Mother In Law
I have recently married the most beautiful man. We had a fairytale wedding in the Greek Islands with 30 of our family and friends attending. Unfortunatly my MIL was miserble the whole trip, and really has been since we annouced that we were marrying overseas in a non-denominational ceremony. I'll give you the family run-down. My husband is the second of two boys. His older brother can do absolutely no wrong from his mothers point of view. We announced that we would be marrying in September 2007 when we got engaged two years earlier. A year later, my husbands brother annouced he would be marrying in August 2007. If that wasn't enough to make me angry (cutting in on our wedding date), I later found out it was his mother's idea so that her first born could be the first to wed. They even paid for the majority of his catholic wedding. On my husbands brothers wedding day we did everything we could to help for the last minute arrangements and MY parents even put up some of the out of town guests. During our trip away to Greece for our wedding, my MIL and FIL never joined us for group activities including tours, shopping or dinners. My MIL barely spoke to any wedding guests except for her first born and his new wife. She even fell asleep at the reception. First Born did not help at all on our wedding day (he was best man) and his excuse for missing our wedding rehersal was that he was on honeymoon with his new wife and "forgot". My parents and in laws had come to the agreement that they would pay for the wine which was served at our wedding. Two months later mum finally recieved payment from them. When MIL returned she had nothing nice to say about the Greek Islands to her friends. She carries a whole album of her first born's wedding photos with her, and only carries two of ours which float around in her handbag. We decided to have Christmas of 2007 at our home as we had just built the house and we thought it fitting to celebrate the first family Christmas there. We live in Australia so my family's traditional Christmas lunch consists of seafood, salads, cold meats, beer and lots of lazing by the pool. My MIL was the first to pipe up about not having the traditional roast turkey and when I told her that Christmas was in my house so we were doing it my way she replied "well, as long as we are all together I guess that's all that matters" in a very undermining and sarcastic tone. Recently she organised a family celebration for her first born (as it was his 30th birthday) which was to be held out of town. She rang me personally to tell me that there would not be enough room for us all to stay at his house so it might be best if I sat this one out and let my husband attend on his own. She actually uninvited me from a family function. It's clear that MIL is not my only problem - First born is just as much of a brat. My husband sticks by side and is always standing up for me and our marriage but nothing seems to stick. It's like she doesn't recognise that we are married and that we are a team. Am I the chink in her family chain? I need help to understand why she is like this and I need tools to be able to cope. I can't even begin to imagine what she will be like when we have children.