frankthebaptist's picture
frankthebaptist

Help! My patience is running thin!

So, I know in-laws can be difficult but my situation is a bit out of control...let me give you a small bit of background info:
We moved in with my husband's mother and step father about a month ago. During these past weeks I have been nothing but helpful and nonabrasive. I clean her house, do her dishes, feed and clean up after her animals (she has fourteen cats! Lucky we live in the country!), cook for the family, just all around try to make things easy for her and include her in the things I do.
Yet everything I try to do is seen as a challenge which causes some vicious power struggle in her mind.
She demands everyone's attention all the time (especially my husband's), treats her own husband like crap, and blames all of her problems on everyone else. She calls me awful names, talks about me like I'm not even in the room, and will tell me to do two opposite things so that I am always inherently wrong (say, to use the heaviest OR lightest setting on the washer so no matter what I do, I'm screwed), and constantly tries to pick fights with me over absolutely anything ('what a lovely blue sky!'- "F**K YOU B***H IT'S GREEN").
This causes me a lot of stress and sometimes stresses my relationship with my husband (I rarely speak to him of her indiscretions because I do not want to perpetuate drama but sometimes I just cannot take anymore).
Even petty things like eating or drinking all the food and drink I have obviously bought for everyone, then complain when they are gone and shout "fatass must have eaten all my ______!". Everything "belongs to her" and must ALWAYS be her way. Recently, we ended a family trip early because she was "sick of being outside". When I offer to help she says things like "no, I'm not a little girl" then whines for my husband's aide (not even her own, who, like me, "can't do anything right!!!").
I love her and STILL show her great deals of respect but here is what I have come to ask-
What do I do when my patience is finally gone?
I have talked to my husband, my sister, even my own mother and father on how to deal with this...
Talking with her is out of the question, everyone tells me to "just let it go" (which I do indeed do for the most part), and as an Atheist have even turned to the solace of the bible (what would Jesus do, right?).
I do not want this to end in a rift in the family, or even worse-violence.
I stay calm and civil always, but my feelings and ego are getting more and more hurt with every passing day. It's to the point where I spend every and all day watching T.V. or reading in our room to avoid her dreaming of the day we are back on our feet and in our own home (we were INVITED to stay, we never asked to).
How do I deal with such a hateful, imbalanced person who berates me with disrespect when all I am trying to do is love her and her son?



Trriley's picture
Trriley
If it were me, I think livening in a crappy motel would be better than I during mental abuse. No one should have to be mentally and emotionally battered.