franbaa's picture
franbaa

Grown children treat me like I'm stupid, and are mean.

09/14/2011 at 03:19 PM.

My daughters treat me like a second class citizen, and so do their husbands. No matter what I say they will disagree or argue with me or tell me, I'm wrong. I can say black and they will say white, no matter what the topic. True we don't have the material wealth, and we have debt due to health reasons (I had cardiac arrest 7 years ago)and on a number of meds. But no matter where we are, they either ignore me or treat me like they are above me. I am sensitive but it hurts and its getting worse. I feel worthless. Even my oldest granddaughter (in college) is beginning to treat me this way when I get the chance to see her. I am going back into child care to help ends meet and have had to charge some of my equipment to get going. Its not an option. But others think I'm pretty good with children, and I love working with them. But I can see them "looking down their noses at what I do".



mayamay's picture
mayamay
09/14/2011 at 05:09 PM

I think it would be fair to drop each of them a matter-of-fact note about how you are feeling. It could be that they have no intention of being so rude. You did a good job of explaining the situation here without sounding whiny, so I think you will be able to communicate the problem to them. Try to present what your expectation of respectful behavior would look like.

franbaa's picture
franbaa
09/14/2011 at 10:39 PM

This is a good idea, they tend to get very defensive and tell me "you are just too sensitive" they don't see their behavior as anything to be upset about. One daughter says, "You used to be tougher!" And maybe to a certain extent she may be right, but I feel why should I have to get "[filtered word]y" just to be treated with a little respect? Not sure how I would word a note to them that would come off as more assertive, rather than complaining. I will work on a note. I really appreciate the thoughts, wish you were close by. Have tried to get them to a family councelor (a mediator)the 2 girls and I but there are always excuses.

mayamay's picture
mayamay
09/15/2011 at 01:06 AM

I think if you concentrate on saying what you DO want, instead of what you don't want, it will work.

KimmyO's picture
KimmyO
12/6/2011 at 03:20 PM
I think it is great that you have tried to mend things and have told them how you feel. Try not to worry about their reactions. I think once they see you are in control and enjoy your own life they will respect you. I am a homedaycare provider and I love it any excuse to play with kids toys is great! lol. I've realized after years of working and then having kids work is work no matter what you do. - Teacher, Lawyer, Cashier, Hostess. If you enjoy looking after children give it your all and you will have the best job in the world! Tell your children how much you love it and why you love it. Hopefully they don't put your career choice down if you hold it up high. I enjoy it because I am my own boss and the children are wonderful.