Daughter doesn't want to be with her dad
I'm not sure if this is the right area for my problem but here it goes anyways.
I have been divorced for 1.5 years. I have three children ages 13(daughter)11(son) and 5(son). Last March, my ex and I came up with a schedule where the kids would stay with him on his days off. He works four on four off, so usually the kids are with him for 3 of those days. Anywho, my daughter hates, hates going there. My boys complain too, but not as much as my daughter. None of the kids have ever been close to their dad, which makes it hard, and he is a strict, strict discipliner. I mean, they get in [filtered word] for everything. I on the other hand, am a bit more lineant with the punishment, only because of habit and because they are constantly in trouble there. So, my daughter does not like her dad, or his fiance, in whom he cheated on me with. She complains about going there, and complains even more when she gets home. This last time, she stayed home with me while the boys went, after a huge blow-out with him and his bitc you know where im going. They yell lots. I got fed up and said the kids no longer have to go if they don't want to. The girlfriend comes to my house later that night, does a bit of spying and pretends like she has no clue what is happening. Then I get emails saying i am a bad parent, the kids need discipline, i let them eat junkfood and stay up all night, on computer all day..blah blah. First off, i have the odd cookie in my house, i don't buy much junkfood, second, kids have an hour on the computer a day, third, they start going to bed at 8:30 sometimes it takes longer. But for her to job by my house every night to make sure they are sleeping really upsets me. Or how my kids are supposed to thank them every day for a trip they went on or they are showing they are not appreciated. Gosh. and finding every fault or mistake my daughter has made. (by the way, the girlfriend is 22 no kids of her own)My question is....Do i make my 13 year old daughter go there if she does not want to? The boys don't mind going,so I am not too concerned about them. My daughter has also done alot of lying, just to get out of going. If i don't make her go, her attitude and lying may get better right? Or so i hope.
I would like you opinions.