Sister83's picture
Sister83

Dating Relationships

Is it "normal" for a 24 year-old woman to never have really dated or had a relationship? Does anyone have any experience with this or suggestions as to what could be going on (if anything)?

I'm a friend of her family and her parents have expressed some concern/confusion. They volunteered that they don't think she is a lesbian (I've never asked her and neither have they). I'm not sure if they would have a problem with that or not. The members of the family are close, but in a superficial sort of way (they talk daily- but about mundane things, they don't know what's really "going on" in each other's lives). She has a lot of friends that she's met through school and sports, and doesn't seem to have a problem making friends or maintaining friendships.

I debated even asking this, because, hey, what is "normal" anyway? But I thought, I'm signed up for this forum, so what the heck, I'll throw it out there. My thought is yeah, it's a little weird, but who cares if the person is happy.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?



Tay's picture
Tay

If that person is happy then who cares what the others think right. Cause they might value their family value but she's perfectly capable of making her own decisons on how she want to spend their life. This is For anybody who wants a relationship you can listen to your family and your parents advice but in the end you can make your own decisions.

Valente

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

This young woman may be concentrating on her education or career and is just not interested in dating at this point in her life. Many young people today are not interested in dating for the sake of dating. My children, 32 and 26, have many single friends who have not or do not date. Young people today have a lot of options not available to young people in the past. Marriage is no longer a necessity for young women, many of whom are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

Tay's picture
Tay

There is nothing wrong with you that you are not dating it's very common for those have good expectations of theirselves and don't want anyone to bring them down. That was not what I was implying on I didn't say this young woman was not focusing on her career. I said when it comes down to the dating and stuff you may listen to your friends and family opinion about it but in the end it's gonna be your decsion to rather date this person or not is what I was saying. Also I didn't say she needed anyone to take care of anyone cause she's capable of ding that herself. Yes there are some that are not interested in dating until a later age that's them. She could be interested in dating but she don't want to get too wrapped up in it that she can not focus on her job or her career.It's okay to be single but she might not want to be single she could just want somebody that will keep her company and respect her wishes as to just be friends. That's all I was saying....
Valente

Sister83's picture
Sister83

Thanks for your replies, I was just curious to hear some thoughts on the matter. I don't think the parents are really very worried, maybe just a bit confused.

I'm around that age myself, and I know some folks that don't have serious relationships. But I can't say that I know any that never go out on dates or meet people to hang out with for an evening or two, just for fun. Some may disagree, but I tend to think that if you plan on getting married, it is a good thing to have at least a litte dating and relationship experience under your belt.

ehartsay's picture
ehartsay

Hi! I found your topic while Googling around the web and joined the site to be able to discuss it. I can discuss it from the pov of a person who is in a very similar situation to that you are discribing. I am a bit older than the woman you are talking about and I am also a woman who has never dated much (more than once or twice a year, and within the last 3 or so years not at all), never and never been in a romantic or sexual relationship.
I am a student and yes being commuted to this means that I am not interested in getting pulled into something that will take up too much time and be a potential problematic anchor when I get my phd and have to move around after jobs.
I don't date because most guys I have met recently in a college town often are s big younger as I am a grad student and j do not have the time or inclination to go out looking. But mostly I don't because a lot of guys want sex - if not right away, at least to be on the horizon. I don't want sex unless I get married and am not interested in doing that for a long time - I would need to be established and meet my soul mate etc.

More than this, I am what I would consider a functional ASEXUAL.
I have a very low sex drive and have NEVER met anyone to whom I was sexually attracted or whom I would have been able to tolerate touching me sexually. Besides this I am very introverted and need a lot of alone time and a lot of freedom. I can't stand bring tied down or confined in any way. Interacting with people tales a lot of my energy and I need a lot of solitude and freedom to 'recharge my batteries' psychologically, physiologically, psychically and spiritually. I dong think I could handle all the enforced intimacy a relationship would bring - it would be too much of an intrusion onto my psychic space, as would be having sex.

Sister83's picture
Sister83

Thanks for sharing! I was thinking she could be asexual. She does have a lot of female friends, I guess it is possible that she could be in a relationship with one of them, but it doesn't seem like she singles one out in particular to spend tons of time with.

I think the parents sort of come from a different perspective too- they were married when they were her age. Different strokes for different folks.