Conflict with Uncle and Aunt over discipline
Someone please help me with this issue! My husband and I have been very close to my brother and sister in law for many years. They have a 2 year old and we have a 2.5 year old. Recently, my brother brought up a concern with us that our son has been displaying aggressive, seemingly malicious behavior towards their son. He and his wife stated that they have seen it "hundreds of times" and that it's been going on for "many months". My husband and I were dumbfounded. At most, we've seen a little roughhousing that we considered normal, but when we saw it go too far, we corrected our son's behavior. My brother stated that they "didn't feel like they could discipline" our son. They are very angry at us, but we feel like we are the ones that have the right to be angry. Isn't it the responsibility of the adult who is supervising children to step in and handle discipline issues. We accepted responsibility for not being aware of the behavior and even apologized to them. However; we feel they were irresponsible in two ways: they saw an inappropriate behavior out of a child (their nephew!) and didn't do anything about it. Then they let it continue for months and saw it "hundreds of times" but NEVER said a word to us. I have been full of anxiety and emotional distress over this thinking I'M the bad parent, when I believe they have been negligent to both children and to us. Do we have a right to be angry? Has anyone had a similar conflict? Someone please help me make some sense out of this. I need unbiased opinions. My brother has stated he wants to boys to "take a break" from each other for awhile, but my husband and I are so angry and feel we can't trust them and are feeling like we can't even have a relationship with them now.