missmel7's picture
missmel7

28 year old shares bed with mom... Need advice

My boyfriend of 3 years is 28 years old and shares a bed with his mother. I found out about a year into our relationship. One night his mom let it slip out that he sometimes sleeps with her and is a momma's boy. It was a very awkward moment for me and I felt like running the second I heard that. They live in a 3 bedroom house so I just don't understand the reasoning for this. But at the same time, it could be because the family is so dysfunctional. My boyfriend has a father but he is married to another woman, so my boyfriends mom is basically "the other woman". His father comes over their house for a few hours every night and then goes back to his home. I believe his father is only still married to his wife for financial reasons. My boyfriend was also raped as a child by a family member. Yes I know the whole thing sounds like a crazy soap opera. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still around, and why I didn't run away from this relationship years ago. I believe all of this crazyness could be the reason my boyfriend sleeps with his mom. This whole situation really bothers me and sometimes I really do feel like getting up and leaving. I have discussed how I feel about this with my boyfriend many times and sometimes he will tell me there's nothing wrong with it because he loves his mom. Other times he would tell me his mom made him sleep with her. Recently when I ask him if he's still doing it he tells me he isn't. However, I don't really believe this because sometimes I will go to his house and he has no sheets on his bed. The whole thing really bothers me, but I almost feel stuck. Also, this is NOT a cultural thing because we are both of Hispanic decent and this is not normal at the age of 28! I love him and I don't want to judge him on his situation but I just don't feel like this is normal and I worry about my future with him... He says he wants to move out one day when he saves enough money and he does want a family with me... but sometimes I just don't know. I feel so STUCK sometimes. Any advice?



mayamay's picture
mayamay
Let this one go. There are plenty of adults out there to date.
Melissa21's picture
Melissa21
Yeah I don't think this is normal either. He is 28 years old! I think you should consider telling him to go to therapy or something that will help him. If you want to be with him still, then I think you should talk to him more about it and about how you feel. And maybe even talk to his mom about it. If it doesnt work out, im sorry but you should be with someone else.
chibifamily's picture
chibifamily
I guess he feels safe with his mom.