momtoangels's picture
momtoangels

What's wrong, here?

Still need help with my 8 year old stepson. I have posted on here before about his stealing, lying, and hurting other members of the family. He has also had sleep disturbance, been peeing in his closet, pooping his pants, and now has major separation anxiety from his dad. He follows dad everywhere around the house and FREAKS if he can't find him. I feel the kiddo is screaming for help. We have been to 3 different counselors, 2 thought there was nothing wrong. (Dad wouldn't go back to the 3rd - he thought she was off base...)
I'm so exhausted from all we have gone through in the past 4 years. And now I can't even have a conversation with "Dad" because he has a constant shadow.
What is wrong, here?



acitez's picture
acitez

I still think a thorough mental health evaluation is called for. Psychologists are not trained in medical issues, they are trained to deal with behavioral issues. They are also actually trained in class to discount what the parents say. THAT is crazy!

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

Go to your local state or county Department of Child Mental Health and ask for an evaluation for this child. The state in which I live provides therapy for the child, education about the child's issues and therapy for the family and a Therapeutic Mentor (my profession for over 13 years) who works with the child and the family.

This program is highly successful when the family is on board. Your stepson is crying out for help. The diurnal or voluntary enuresis and the encopresis you describe are both signs of oppositional defiant disorder and can be eliminated with thoughtful early intervention.

Please let me know if I can be of any help.

unknown's picture
unknown

Unknown

Hello I am new to this forum and don't know the childs history, but it does seem that he went through a very stressful period in his young life. You first need to calm him down and relieve some of his stress. There is a product called stress relief complex by the company Shaklee that works wonders in such cases. I would combine it with another product called gentle sleep complex, it contains valerian and is a natural tranquilizer.

Did you check if the child has ADHD? It sounds like he does. If so you need to change all the toxic household cleaners in your home he might be allergic to it and this causes such volatile reactions. Most kids that have ADHD don't really have it they are simply allergic to sugar and white flour and to the chemicals and coloring in food, like msg etc. If you need more information on this subject I can email it to you.

Good luck

unknown's picture
unknown

Unknown

Hello I am new to this forum and don't know the childs history, but it does seem that he went through a very stressful period in his young life. You first need to calm him down and relieve some of his stress. There is a product called stress relief complex by the company Shaklee that works wonders in such cases. I would combine it with another product called gentle sleep complex, it contains valerian and is a natural tranquilizer.

Did you check if the child has ADHD? It sounds like he does. If so you need to change all the toxic household cleaners in your home he might be allergic to it and this causes such volatile reactions. Most kids that have ADHD don't really have it they are simply allergic to sugar and white flour and to the chemicals and coloring in food, like msg etc. If you need more information on this subject I can email it to you.

Good luck

momtoangels's picture
momtoangels

I do appreciate all the comments. The real problem with all of this is that I am just the step-mom. Neither Mom or Dad see this child as having any problems. Mom is what I would call mentally off, but won't seek help for herself.
Dad does admit that he is concerned about the "clingy-ness" and the poor choices his son makes in dealing with everyday life, but other than that, they keep making excuses. One of the most frequent is, "He's only 8, you can't possibly expect too much of him." I argue that he can comprehend right vs. wrong at school, why not at home?
I have no say over his diet, doctors, behavior intervention, etc. If I bring it up, I'm the "wicked step-mother".
Meanwhile, I feel at the end of my rope since we have other children and this is affecting them, too.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

If this child's behavior is affecting other children in the household (assuming they're yours), you have a right to speak up. If dad doesn't take action and keeps making excuses, you need to consider what's best for your own chidren first. It sounds like you're a very caring step-mom, but unfortunately this boy is not yours, so your hands are pretty much tied. If you see this child is being denied the help he needs, I do think you have the right to report it. I'm sure you're not looking to step on anyone's toes or get anyone in trouble here, but if it's affecting your own children, you have to do something. It's either that or you get out of the relationship you are currently in in an effort to protect your kids. I'm sorry.