granolamom's picture

Strangers In The Home With My 3 Year Old

I am DESPERATE for some advice! My ex looks after our daughter while I work. After discovering a website called, he has started allowing COMPLETE strangers to stay at his house overnight, sometimes for several nights. He thinks it's a fun way to meet people and I am sick with thoughts of someone possibly molesting or abducting or somehow harming our little girl. He calls them all "friends" and allows them to use her room. On those nights she sleeps with her dad. Except when a woman ends up in his room for the night, then she is told to go back to her own bed. I think it is gross all of these strange people use her room and bathroom. It is also an invasion of her space. I am worried about what sort of trust messages this is sending our daughter. How will she learn who is a stranger, who is someone she can trust? I have tried to talk to him about my concerns and he completely blows me off. He says he never leaves her alone with anyone. I can't imagine him waking her up or taking her away from her TV program when he leaves to use the bathroom or grab something from another room. It would only take a minute for her to be sexually assaulted or abducted. One time he texted me about a guy that was staying at his house and said that the guy was "freaking (him) the f*** out". But he still thinks it's totally safe to have these weirdos around our daughter.
What should I do?????????????
Please HELP!

acitez's picture

If he "looks after her" because he has visitation, then you need to hire a lawyer and go back to family court.
If he "looks after her" because you can't afford to pay a babysitter, you need to contact DCFS and get supplementary help so that you can pay a day-care (or night-care) provider, or else you need to move in with family that you trust so that you can provide a safe place for your child.

If he "never leaves her alone" then how is it that there is sometimes a woman in his bed and the child sleeps in her own room?

Whatever you need to do, don't let her spend another night or DAY in that house. Bad things happen when the sun is shining, too.

tamz's picture

acitez is 100% right!! If he has visitation then go back to court!! Your child is in danger in this lifestyle. If your ex wants to take such a risk with his own life then so be it, but do not allow him to make the same choice for your daughter!! She has no voice here so you have to stick up for her.

If he does not have visitation then make him come to your house and hang out for a time,but do not allow him to risk the safety of your little girl. She needs you to protect her!!!

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I totally agree w/ the above posters. What a scary situation!! Do whatever you have to do to keep your daughter safe, even if it means taking her to work w/ you. That may seem like an unrealistic suggestion, but what's more important, your job or your child's safety?
If you don't have anyone else to care for your daughter or you can't afford childcare, get your ex to pay up. He has a responsibility too. Take him to court as the others have suggested.