PlatypusOfDeath's picture

Step Daughter with explosive behavior

I have a step daughter, age five. Ive been in her life since she was two, she no longer remembers a time without me.
She has always been a very tempermental little girl, and last August she started seeing someone for Childrens Mental Health at a local agency.
Her behavior the last several months has been becoming increasingly violent, or extreme. She is fine one second, explodes into a ball of fury the next, anywhere from a couple min to a couple hours of non stop screaming and crying. But once she is done, she flips back to being sweet at the drop of a hat.

Now when she throws fits she is making threats and blackmailing at different people, places (i.e If I hear one more person talk Im going to scream/ If I see anybody go past my room Im going to throw things!" Also, "Im going to kill you!" "Im going to rip your head off!" and at school to her teacher "Im going to pull out your teeth and rip out your tongue so you cant talk anymore!" (this was just on wednesday, she had to be picked up from the field trip at the library. She also tried to throw a table at the teacher)

At school also she was asked if she would like Soy Sauce on her rice, she said yes. When the teacher gave her Soy Sauce, she decided she didnt want it. Dumped her plate on the ground, slowly poured out her milk while she watched the teacher. And then stood up, grabbed the table, lifted it and dumped everyone elses food onto the floor as well. Tried biting the teacher and bus driver when they put her on the bus.

Its come to the point that we are having more bad days than good. Which is awful and devasting because at the beginning of the year the teachers were telling us this was the best year yet.

We have consistent consequences at home, we dont spank. She is on a waiting list to be checked for FAS and ADHD (Mom has admitted to doing drugs, including smoking foils for the first four months of pregancy)

I am becoming greatly concerned and scared by her behavior. Im worried about it getting bigger and worse as she gets older. She has a one year old sibling (my daughter) that she has already bitten just to see what would happen. Im worried about when they get old enough to have real sibling fights. I know all siblings get into spats but my step daughters behavior is already extreme with the people she loves and cares about, I dont think her approach to her sister will be any different.

Im scared that if we cant figure out the key to her explosive anger problems that she will be expelled from elementary. She has already been removed from one Daycare because they thought she needed more help than they could offer.

Im sorry this post is so long, I have a lot of worry over this.

Pearl333's picture
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I bet the worst part is the fear of what others may think of her or labeling. That hurts the most I know. I teach kinder and this isn't normal five year old tantrums. I am no medical professional but you should look into ED (emotional disorder). It is a branch of the special education program for students who have no control or become irrational with emotions. They are born with it and often times includes violent behavior. If so the district should have a behavior specialist or program to help her. They can set up a behavior plan for school and home. You should ask the teacher if she has been or could be looked at by the councilor or behavior specialist. That way they could get her on a positive behavior plan designed for her. If its public school and you get the run around don't stop. Helping a child younger is much easier then older. You could also ask for a behavior plan even if she isn't ED.
djinmichigan's picture
Maybe the "no spanking" stuff doesn't work for every child? Hmm...