chevdanbarnett's picture
chevdanbarnett

pregnencyduring custody hearing

since may 12 2008 we seprated with two kids which we had together and now i do believe that she is having another baby with a different father while we are going through a custody hearing for my two kids and the mother dose not come get the kids as it is now so not sure is this a good thing or not having another kid on the way even during a custody batttle of my kids but yet the mother has finacal issues and not a very good living style and is hardly on time to get the kids when she dose come get the kids and she is trying to go to school for to try to better her self but yet how is this a good thing expecially during a custody battle



SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

If she is not using her parenting time to see the kids, then that is her loss. Look at it as keeping the kids away from you describe as a “not very good living style”. You can check the laws in your state for a couple of things. First of all, when you say “separated”, do you mean just living apart, or were you legally separated? Secondly, in many states a child that is born during a marriage is legally the husbands child until proven otherwise. Thirdly, if you live in a state that recognizes adultery as a reason to terminate a marriage, you can use this as a way to gain some leverage to help you with your custody case. So, to answer your question, this could be a good thing. This could work in your favor. I hope you have an attorney. If not, you need one. Look for an attorney who specializes in parental rights, not so much a divorce attorney. Good luck to you, and your children.

chevdanbarnett's picture
chevdanbarnett

these is whaf i mean she left i got the boy and she got a new man in her life and ihae some one in mine and we are still figting in court for the boys and today i think she is haveing a nother baby from the other guy she cnt take care of the boys that we have now i was just wondering it cant look goood

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

If it is evident that she is unable to take care of the boys I would ask for a court appointed guardian to investigate both you and her. They will not just look at one parent. They will also look in to both parents backgrounds. If you truly have concerns about the boy's well being while with their mother, as a parent, you need to bring these concerns to the attention of the court. Truthfully, if the court looks at the mother poorly for being in a new relationship, they will in all likelihood, view you in the same light. Being pregnant at such a time may not be a good idea, but it is not something that will work against her. You are both in new relationships. I would look at ways to show the court why you have concerns for the children while with their mother. Are you being represented by an attorney?

chevdanbarnett's picture
chevdanbarnett

yes i am i well talk to her on tuesday when i go to court i have temp custy of my boys right now she has vis ever wensdays and eve other weekend she dont pick them up on the wensdays and some times on the weekdays she does i try to wok with her ass much ass i can but she dont call to talk to the boys i dont even have a number to call to check on the boys i have to send mesg to her mom and friend to get her to call me nethe one of them have a job she says she to to go to collg i said go happy for you i just fig it cant look good to have a baby if you are trying to fight for your boys they live together he lives with her in a apt that was for my boys two bedroom my boys have the small room i live with my boys my gril friend does not live with me i get help with friends and family i have not got no help from her since i had the kids

chevdanbarnett's picture
chevdanbarnett

yes i have a lawer

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

I am glad to know that you have an attorney. I understand that from your perspective it looks bad for her to be pregnant while fighting for the kids, and given her current financial troubles. Ask your attorney if her being pregnant is relevant in this case. Depending on where you live it may very well matter to the court, and then again it may be legally irrelevant. If the court is not interested in the mother being pregnant, do not push the point, let it be.

When you are in court on Tuesday ask your attorney to request from the judge a provision in the new order to require daily phone contact between the children and the parent with whom the children are not residing with at that time. There can be a set time that you can expect a call from the kids to at least say goodnight to them. This would need to be mutual, but it would prevent you from having to go through her mother or friends in order to speak with your children.

I understand your frustration with the current living situation regarding the mother. I would mention it to the court, but I would not make it a habit of bringing it up. It's great that your family and friends are helping you with the kids. I would make it known to the court that you have a support system in place to aid you with the kids. Good luck on Tuesday. Let me know how things go for you and the kids.

chevdanbarnett's picture
chevdanbarnett

well i went to court tuesday the court asked that there be a thred gaudain to invgat both side she did not want it so i payed for it what should i espeact from these

Whoops_there_he_is's picture
Whoops_there_he_is

A guardian ad litem, I believe is an attorney, that represents the interests of the child.
This person *investigates*, interviews and basically contacts most of the people that have interacted or taken care of the child (this from my own experience years ago). The guardian writes a report for the court, and makes recommendations as to their opinion of what is in the best interest of the child they are representing. Years ago, both parents were ordered to pay the fee for the guardian ad litem. I wouldn't think it wouldn't be up to your ex whether this person was obtained or not. But hey, if you have the money to pay for everything , that is less your ex has to worry about!
In the near future, you will probably get an appointment with the guardian, and will be asked a LOT of questions. I suggest you be straight forward and truthful with this person - state the facts, try not to get too caught up in heresay, or rumors.