CLOISTEROAKS's picture
CLOISTEROAKS

Parental Death

MAY 26 08

MY GRANDSONS,AGES 10-8-8-6, LOST THRE MOM TO PANCREATIC CANCER LAST SEPT. I HELP WITH THE CHILDREN WHEN I CAN. I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB AND TAKE TIME OFF FOR THE BOYS.

I HAVE A DAUGHTER, LISS WHO WOULD BE 28 THIS SUMMER. SHE WAS KILLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER IN DEC OF 02. MY SON, JAMIE,IS 38.

I AM CONCERNED ABOUT THE BOYS. THEY ALL SWEAR, THE LANGUAGE OUT OF ONE TWIN'S MOUTH IS VERY 'BODY PART' ORIENTED. I SEE A LOT OF ANGER. THEY PLAY VIDEO GAMES FOR HOURS(SOMETHING I FEEL THEY WERE GIVEN TO DO WHILE THEIR DAD TOOK CARE OF THEIR MOM FOR 14 MOS)AND REALLY GET VERY ANGRY DURING THE GAMES. WHEN THEY ARE AT MY HOME, I ENCOURAGE THEM TO GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY. I HAD THEM FOR 3 DAYS LAST WEEK AND THEY ONLY PLAYED THEIR VIDEO GAMES FOR A TOTAL OF 20 MIN.

HOW CAN I HELP WITH THE LANGUAGE AND THE ANGER. I HAVE TOLD MY SON THAT I THOUGHT THEY SHOULD BE SEEING A "WORRY"DOCTOR.

I AM ALSO WORKING ON POLITENESS AND TABLE MANNERS.

PLEAE HELP! I AM NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.



concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

First of all, I wld like to say that I am so sorry for your losses. It must be really hard on your entire family losing loved ones so close to you.
I think you are doing a great job w/ your grandchildren. It's good also that you spoke to your son about seeing a dr. That's what I wld recommend too (specifically a psychologist), not only for your grandchildren but also for the entire family. Children don't always know how to express themselves and often lash out in anger, especially in times of difficulty. If you feel the video games are contributing to the anger, try distracting the children w/ other activities as you've done or take the games away all together. If they truly love these games, try to find ones that are more age appropriate and less violent. If there's more to the problem, like maybe someone in the home or other children in school using foul language that your grandchildren are picking up on, that needs to be addressed as well. Your son needs to speak to his children and tell them although they are going through a tough time, it is not ok to use that kind of language. I hope this advice helps. I also hope your family finds comfort in one another during this difficult time in your lives.