BeccaBlueSky's picture
BeccaBlueSky

Only child has trouble making friends

We have an 11yr old daughter who is an only child going into 6th grade next year.  She has had trouble making and keeping friends for quite awhile now.  She is not shy, just does not like to take risks.  She hates clicks (who doesn't?) and there are a couple of big ones in her school.  She will invite girls over, they come and they seem to have a good time.  But she never gets invitations or calls from other girls.  She seems to have stopped trying this summer and I am always telling her to call a friend, go to the pool, something.  She dances, sings in a community youth theater group and is friendly with girls there.  But no true friendships.  I worry.  What can I do to help her?  She is such a beautiful and smart young girl. 



concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I think your daughter's smart to avoid the "clicks". A true friend shld accept her for who she is. She shld not try to "fit in" or do things she doesn't believe in just to have friends. Are there any other groups outside of school that your daughter can join? Or what about sports? Church youth group? Have her choose something she enjoys doing. This way she won't feel uncomfortable in the environment to begin w/, and it will make things that much easier for her to make friends. I think your daughter is right to be choosey. I have 2 friends that I've known since freshmen yr of HS that I consider true friends. The rest of my "friends" are acquaintances that are fun to hang out w/, but in no way do I share a close personal relationship w/ them. Your daughter will meet lots of people in her life. She'll learn who are the true friends and who are just acquaintances. Give her time to find these true friends. Don't give up hope.

BeccaBlueSky's picture
BeccaBlueSky

Thank you. Your words are very encouraging. She does dance and has friends there. School is so important and this is a transition year to middle school. I want her to have a couple girls that she can count on. I won't lose hope. Thank you so much.