Durr's picture
Durr

Not sure what to make of this

OK, I have a strange one. My 9 yr old son (4th grade) appears to be well adjusted socially. He does not have problems getting along with other kids and his peers seem to like him (or they don't dis-like him anyway). The odd thing is he rarely, if ever, gets calls for play dates, does not seem to have any consistent buddies and does not get many birthday party invites. Any play dates he has are arranged on our side and the friends come to our house and never vise versa. There was one kid in his class last year (and this year) who used to invite him over periodically but those invites have stopped, not sure why. I have spoken to his teachers and guidance counselors over the past three years. They have all said that he socializes just fine with the other kids and they do not see see any problems with him in the social arena. I've asked some other parents and it does seem that his peers do have regular play dates and regularly get invited to friends' houses.

He's in cub scouts, plays basketball and baseball so there are opportunities beyond the school day for him to make friends. So I don't link this to lack of opportunity.

He seems perfectly content/happy with life and never complains about not having friends or anything like that. I'm afraid to speak to him about this because I don't want to bring light to this and get him thinking that there is something wrong with him.

Should I be concerned or am I just being paranoid?



mayamay's picture
mayamay
You aren't being paranoid, but you also need not be concerned. These things are very different with each child. If he seems happy and has adequate social skills, just let it be. He'll have enough friends for him. Having said that, you may want to develop friendships with other parents of his classmates. Volunteering for school committees is a low-stress way to develop those relationships.