tict0c's picture

New Here Please Help if you can!

Hi my girlfriend moved in with her sister to help take care of her 7 year old daughter. The girl was adobted from a woman that worked with my girlfriends sister's husband. The biological mother was a drug user and cause of this the child has a few problems. Not physical except she is smaller than most girls her size. But she has temper problems and is hard to control. My girlfriend has been there for a year and a half and though the girl has calmed down a bit she is still out of control and hard to handle. She throws things at times and doesnt like to listen. Her parents are divided with their parenting skills. One disciplines and the is a best friend type that disciplines when it gets bad. My girlfriend is at her end and with the parents working she is looking after the girl more and is having troubles. Time Out doesnt seem to work. Taking her favorite videos away doesnt work. She just cant get through to her. They have went to see a child therapist. But what he suggested didnt help and they dont have the money to keep seeing this guy. Anyhelp for parents out there for a child who wont listen and throws tantrums and time out will not help? Anything would be appreciated. Thank you!

SnglDad's picture

Until there is a definitive answer as to what causes her to act in such a way no one can tell you the most effective way to deal with her. Is this child suffering from a condition brought on by drug use during pregnancy, or is this the result of ineffective parenting?

acitez's picture

I imagine that your girlfriend is quite stressed over the situation. However, it often takes time for the interventions suggested by therapists to take effect. Perhaps these parents could be left alone to raise their child as they see fit. Your girlfriend might be best served by finding a different job and a different place to live.

SnglDad's picture

Time and maybe an extra hand to keep the child out of a standard daycare until doctors can diagnose what the problem might be. This is not about what best serves the girlfriend, but what best serves the child. The sacrifice she is making to help this child, and the parents, is commendable.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Maybe school can help. Does this girl attend a regular education program or is she in a special ed class? Also a school councelor may be helpful. I think therapy is the best solution here. There are clinics and volunteer organizations that handle children w/ behavior problems. This wld be a more affordable route. Also, if this child gets a particular diagnosis, maybe insurance will pay for counceling.
Another suggestion wld be to get this girl involved in different activities that she enjoys (arts and crafts, sports, music, etc.) These activities may help her vent her frustrations and any anger that she has.