Need help talking to my sister!
I have a couple issues with my sister that I just don't know how to handle. First, is how she treats my special needs 6 year old son. My son is mentally around 4. I went to visit my Sister in Texas when my son was a year old...that's when I first noticed she was not very nice to him. She would make me sanitize every toy he played with EVERY night..because she claims he drooled. (she is not a neat freak at all, so this was shocking). She told me I should be spanking him when he is bad, and she would scream at him constantly for EVERY little thing he did wrong. Well, of course, I never went back to visit. But now, she has moved near me.
I had her watch Austin (my son) once while I went to the movies with some friends...when I came home, my son who has NEVER had any sort of separation anxiety...was screaming and hugging me, saying "i'm so proud your home!". I asked my sister why he was so upset, that it was odd behavior and she claimed he was HORRIBLE was i was gone. Telling me things I just know my son didn't do.
I never let her watch my son after that...however, he has stayed with her when my mother was there from time to time. As soon as I would walk in the door, she would promptly tell me all the horrible things he did while i was gone, none of which my mother happened to see. My mother did point out to me that it was odd she was doing that and she is as puzzled as I am.
My second issue with my sister is the way she treats her oldest daughter. My sister has 3 children, ages 5, 7, 9. Her 9 year old is a messy child, and a bit lazy but still such a sweet girl. Since my sister has lived here, about 8 months..i have not once seen her show affection to her oldest daughter Bryanna. She is always yelling at her about ridiculous things. Here is an example. They came to my Mother's to swim...all the children ran upstairs to put their bathing suits on, and then jumped in the pool. My sister's youngest boy ran to her and said he couldn't find his. My sister ran out back, ordered her daughter out of the pool and said "you could find your bathing suit but couldn't give your brother his!, GET OUT, YOUR DONE SWIMMING FOR THE DAY!!" this is typical of my sister. She is always yelling at her about these types of things...not playing with her brother...not doing well enough in school...room is messy...leave the adults alone and go play...etc.My niece has even told me that she thinks mommy doesn't love her. Its so sad...
My sister is not somebody you can approach Straight up...she will ignore me for MONTHS if I accuse her of being mentally abusive to her daughter, or mean to my child...but I don't know what to do. how do you think I can approach my sister about these issues without her blowing up at me?