sonya83's picture


Hi , my name is Sonya. I have 3 siblings , a younger sister who's 28 , a younger brother who's 26 and a baby sister who is 13. My parents died 7 years ago and I took custody of my youngest sister. Over the years my other two siblings helped out but they just did the fun things while I did the actual parentinng. Recently , I got offered a job in Japan and I really want to take it as I'll never get offered anything like that aggaain. The problem is that I don't know if i should bring my sister wwith me. i've talked to her about it and she seems to be ok with the idea but my other sister and my brother are saying that it's not right that i take her so far away. My sister wants her to live with her and her husband. But after being a mom to her for so long the thought of loosing her breaks my heart and i do think that after raising her for so long i should get to take her wherever i want provided she's fine with it. I want to do what's best for everyone involved but i don't know what to do.

junieg's picture
You are the one who has done most of the parenting while they had the fun. Take her with you if she wants to go. She will miss you badly if you go without her and it could be such a great opportunity for you both. You have legal custody so it is up to you to make the decision, not your siblings. They are being a little bit selfish. Good luck.
McCuen's picture
If she is bonded strongly with you as the parent figure, leaving her behind will be detrimental. She can also get A LOT of advantages from experiencing life in different countries. However, on the flip side, you have to consider that she has family and friends here in the states that she will miss terribly, and they will miss her. This is no different than deciding whether to take a job in Japan when you have your OWN 13 year old to consider. Maybe the first thing to consider is, do you REALLY want to take the job and relocate your family?