Jawickander's picture

I am out of Ideas

I have a 5 year old - he is the class clown and is being teased everyday but he does not realize that he is being teased and that kids are laughing at him not with him. He wants to be liked, and I dont want to teach him that some kids are just mean, but his behavior is distracing to the class and he does it for attention. Now he is picking his nose and eating it and he thinks its funny to be called burger boy - how do I make him understand that they are picking on him with out making him feel like everyone hates him or no one likes him. I don't want to shatter his world but this needs to change. Any Ideas would be appreciated.

acitez's picture

You don't need to teach him that other kids are mean. You do need to teach him that it is rude to eat your boogers. Perhaps you could say something like "In our family, we use tissues, in private."

Then, his teacher needs to teach the class to stop laughing when he does this. She needs to teach them that it is rude to laugh at people. One of the teachers taught my daughter's class that polite people don't notice farts. If there was a noise or smell, and somebody forgot and giggled, she would gently say that person's name quietly, with a look (you know). The person who farted was not corrected.

Ask the teacher to help you "extinguish this behavior." Extinguishing behavior is something she/he has learned in psychology class. In order to do it, everybody needs to do their best to ignore the target behavior after the subject is told that the behavior is not acceptable.

Remind her/him that the behavior will likely increase in frequency and magnitude immediately before it disappears.