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Janelle12

Eight year old is rude to other kids, yet complains about no friends

I have a very smart son. He was reading fluently first grade level before starting kindergarten and excels in most areas in school. He picks up on concepts well and loves learning. However, he is very selfish. He was raised with other children his age and has always been taught from an early age how to behave and act and socialize around others. However when he is playing is very selfish, wants his way and has to be constantly reminded to share, give others turns, etc. Sometimes he mocks other kids. He never calls ugly names or anything but he may compare, say his is better, stuff like that. We have had COUNTLESS discussions about others' feelings being just like his, how would he like it if others did that to him. I've had short discussions and long discussions hoping to find a way to really get him to connect the fact that his rude behavior makes people not like him. He does have a couple close friends but even those friends he alienates sometimes. One time I asked him what would truly make him happy in life. I said, don't give me the 'PR version,' tell me the truth (so I could see where he was coming from.). He said to love others and make them happy. Then I asked him, does it affect you in any way when others are sad? He was like, 'No.' Then I was like, 'Do you see the disconnection between those two thoughts? How they don't work together? He was like oh. We talked about how when he was ugly to others, not only did he get a consequence (priviledge taken away etc), but that his friend did not want to play with him anymore. But the problem still continues. Has any other mom had a kid like this? What did you do? Is it a developmental stage? What can I do, either directly or indirectly, if anything, to help him learn to be caring and nice?