Solosngr's picture
Solosngr

Cause daddy Said so

As a toddler my little girl would always ask questions. The questions never ended when the question was answered, but followed with why? Over and over again. One day she was asking a series of questions about wanting to get something at the store that I really couldn’t afford to get at the moment. And the “why” series continued. Frustrated I looked up and answered her why daddy with, “Cause the sky is blue”. She stopped looked up and it was almost as if she understood. There is no real reason why, it just is. So now when I get that whining why not daddy question my response is simply, “cause the sky is blue”.

I remember as a kid thinking that my father was Superman. There was nothing that he couldn’t do or nothing that he didn’t already know. I relied on this in many instances and I still rely on it for parental advice every now and then. This “value” is good and makes me think about children these days.

I was told once that I have an opinion about everything (This wasn’t meant to be a compliment). It got me to thinking. I do have an opinion about everything because that’s what gets me by with raising my children. If I didn’t have an opinion where would my kids go to get advice? TV, the internet or maybe little Joey down the street who tortures the neighborhood animals. My point is growing up these are the type of learning moments and trust moments I had with my father because in my opinion, He knew it all!!!! I know that not to be exactly true now, but in every situation he let me believe that he had all the answers to my problems and was there to listen no matter the situation. What type of role as parents should we take with our kids? Should we independently let them make their own decisions or should we influence (guide) them in their everyday situations until they are old/responsible enough to make them on their own.

Your child is your legacy. Everything you leave behind in this world diminishes except your children. They carry on your beliefs, values, and sometimes opinions. At birth you are given the gift of being able to mold that untouched unscarred baby into whatever you want.

In my opinion it is the responsibility of the parents to make decisions for the kids. They should rely on your experience and somewhat expertise in certain situations. Could you imagine the decisions kids would make without our guidance. Something as little as what to make for dinner or how to spend money would go by the waste-side.

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mayamay's picture
mayamay
I think it is good to give kids opportunities to make decisions. Give them the benefit of your experience, then back off and let them learn. Your approach is like teaching a kid to ride a bike with training wheels on. It's fine in the beginning, but there comes a time when you've got to take off the training wheels.
junieg's picture
junieg
Children also have to learn to self-regulate and they can't do that if you are always making the decisions for them. Give your daughter some decisions to make. They don't have to be major ones, but let her feel she has some control over her own life. What is wrong with her choosing what to have for dinner once in a while? In our nursery, we encourage risky play. The children are not constantly told "don't do that, you might fall" etc, etc. Instead we ask them to evaluate how they feel about a situation by asking questions such as "do you feel safe there?" Your daughter will never learn how to look after herself if you are constantly 'nannying' her. Time to stop being a control freak.
kristen5412's picture
kristen5412
I am agree with both of you!! Nice thought