lula.grey's picture

Adult & Curfew.. do these two go together?

I'm 19 years old and almost 20. I'm looking to move out in the next year because my parents are driving me curfew crazy! At first I didn't have a curfew.. it was up to my "good judgement" when I come home.. I showed up at 3 ONE TIME and my parents freaked out! So I told them that If I was any later then 2:30 on a weekend or 12:30 on a school night.. to be worried. I was sticking to these guidelines until my older (21 year old) sister started coming home at 4 or 5 in the morning and didn't get in trouble at all for weeks on end!!!! I came home last night 30 minutes past my curfew and my mom yelled at me this morning and told me my NEW curfew is 12:30 on weekends and 11 on schoolnights. I feel this is ridiculous and unfair! I am an adult and I should be treated as one. Am I right here? What should I do about this?

susanc's picture

I see you are very frustrated with your situation. It seems things were fine, until your sister starting coming home later. It appears you stayed out late because yor sister did. You had an agrement with you parents. Just because your sister is doing what she wants, does'nt mean you can. You are responsible for your own actions. this is what being an adult is. Maybe this is a little unfair, but you need to be the bigger person here. Your parents were probably worried. Go and apologize, explain that you understand that they were worried. Ask to go back to the previous curfew... humbly. Ask for there trust again, and this time occasionaly come home earlier and call often.( keep the situation with your sister out of it ) Your parents seem like decent people, you may be and adult, but your still there child.You need to respect that, even if things seem a lilltle unfair . They are doing the best they can.Give it a try, good luck to you. susan

NapaStepMom's picture

Hi Lula,

Becoming an adult does not include becoming inconsiderate of others. Just the opposite, I would think.  While you may be over 18, you are still their child and always will be. They love you and care for your well being.  If this is all you have to complain about, I'd say you're a pretty lucky girl and should start counting your blessings.  Believe me, you will have plenty of years without your parents and their rules. Appreciate them while you can.


Bel's picture

My advice is to sit down with your parents and explain your feelings. Then give them the chance to explain there feelings and listen to them without butting in. Then ask them for a compromise that everyone is happy with. It worked in own home!

jsf418's picture

Hi there-

I see how this is a tough situation, but I think you need to have an adult talk with your parents.  It does sound a little unrealistic that they switched your curfew but I think you are being a little unfair also.  It is pretty immature to throw "I'm an adult".  You still need to respect them as you are living with them and they were probably worried.  Be careful what you wish for, because it is hard to live on your own and pay your own bills and you don't want to create a situation where you have to move out.  Let us know what happens.

lanie's picture

when, in fact, you begin acting like the adult you protest that you are, and your parents can trust that you are an adult and not just trying to get out of coming home early, you will be much more successful at pleading your case.  have you thought about how you might feel if you were indeed a parent of a person your age and you had to stay up, worrying? being an adult is about so much more than having attained a particular year of growth. perhaps while you were whining about being and adult, your sister has actually proven to your parents that she is?  work with the people here, they love you and want what's best for you.

gail Hanson's picture
gail Hanson

I'm looking at this as the parent.  (Are you their youngest?  That might make a difference.)  Anyway, just from a civil-defense kind of point of view, I need to know where the people who live in my house are at, in case somebody blows something up, or a train plows into a pick-up truck.  It isn't that I'm a worrier, far from it.  But the reason I'm not a worrier is because we all take care of business, you know?