19 month old sleep
Hi, first time poster on here..... was hoping to resolve problem without asking for assistance, but ive reached the end of my and my wifes rope.
I married into becoming a father to a 19 month old little girl (real father not in picture, never seen her) who calls me daddy and all things considered i am her dad. While im not sure this is relevant, i felt the need to share all the details of whats going on.
Lily (our daughter) loves me and seeks my attention just as often as she does her mother except for bedtime. Here in lies the problem.
Lily will only go to sleep if she is on her mother on the recliner we own and sometimes in our bed if she can be on mommy and im not in the bed with her.
We can sometimes "trick" her to sleeping for 15-30 minutes in her own bed if mommy lays down next to her for awhile, but its never for an extended period of time. Lily will scream and ball her head until she gets what she wants.
We have in the past not let her tantrums get to us and not give in and just wait for the tantrum like crying to stop but it can go on for hours and she ends up giving herself dry heeves so we give in because we dont want her to hurt herself. She will keep tryin to climb all over her mom till she gives in. Im not at all desired at bedtime, in fact she crys harder if i even go near her.
We have tried separating ourselves from her and her tantrums by using a babygate on her room and putting her to bed hoping that her not being able to see us will deter her hopes that crying will break us but she is just as vigilant and ends up in dry heeves and we crack. Also now she has perfected the skill of climbing the babygate so it really has no detering power anymore.
If we take her even near ANY bed she starts balling her head off. We have tried different beds trying a twin bed in place of her toddler bed but to no avail.
My wife and I are desperate for sleep. Im a truck driver so most of the nights im not there so my ability to contribute is diminished.
Ive read how consistency is the key for bedtimes. Well this all started the night after lily was in the hospital for bein bound up and had to get an enema. The doc says this is no longer an issue but the few night afterwards mommy babied her and started the sleeping on the recliner trend that she now so much hates to do.
We are trying to be consistent however we cant implement a starting course that we can repeat every night. At different times will she decide that she wants to sleep, even if we give up ahead of time and she sleeps with mommy on the recliner.
Ive read how transition objects and such help with changing her habits but dont see how much we can do. we let her fall asleep on mommy then put her in bed but if it works (which it usually doesnt and she wakes up in a fit) it is only for a few hours tops.
Please help us. 3 cranky people need you! lol
Any advice is appreciated.