bipolarmom's picture
bipolarmom

health concerns about having another baby

hi there, I'm new. I'm looking for some feedback on a decision I am trying to make.

I would like to try for another baby but there are some concerns. Firstly, I have a child with autism and I am afraid I would not be able to cope with another diagnoses. Secondly, I have bipolar disorder and I am on medication that's not suitable for pregnancy. Do I have to resign myself to not having another baby? I have a girl as well that is completely neurotypical without any health problems.



concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I can't blame you for being concerned about having another child considering your medical history and your child's diagnosis. My advice to you wld be to consult a genetic councelor. I have a friend who has twins, a boy and a girl. Her little boy has autism but his twin sister does not. My friend also has a 2 yr old who has not been diagnosed w/ any problems. Therefore, you never know what the outcome will be.
Bipolar disorder can show up at any time, so therefore you shld discuss your concerns w/ a dr who understands the illness and the risks of passing the disorder onto your child.
You have several options. You can have a child and take the risk of passing on this disorder, you can choose not to have a child, or you can consider adoption.
You have to ask yourself if you can emotionally handle another child w/ a disability. You also have to consider your own health risks. It might not be healthy for you to discontinue your meds for an extended period of time. That's another subject you shld bring up to your dr. Your health is just as important.
On the other hand, w/ pregnancy comes many unknowns. A mother may have a health issue, while her baby is born perfectly normal. Or a perfectly healthy mother may have a child born w/ a disability. Therefore, we can't always predict what's going to happen.
Obviously, w/ your medical history, you have a higher chance of passing on certain conditions. Talk to your dr, and educate yourself as much as you can before making a decision to have another child.
In the meantime, take care of yourself and the children you already have. I wish you all the best.

acitez's picture
acitez

The children you already have don't need to experience having a mom with un-managed bipolar disorder. I have a friend whose mom was bipolar and it was AWFUL. If your psychiatrist can find a way to manage your illness while you are pregnant then maybe you could make it work. Not a risk I would be willing to take.

bipolarmom's picture
bipolarmom

Thank you for the input. I definetely do need to talk to my doctor about maintaining my own health. I certainly don't want my kids to go through more of what they have already witnessed. I will make the wisest decision for myself and my family it's just really difficult when I see babies and think I may never have that moment of joy again when a new child enters the family.

acitez's picture
acitez

Immediately after I delivered my fourth, my doctor asked if I wanted a tubal ligation while we were all here. I said "NO". He said "One of them has to be the last one."


That is a reality that anyone who has had one child has to deal with. But there are SO many other sources of joy. Don't let the one you are missing take your attention from the myriad of joys that you have.

bipolarmom's picture
bipolarmom

It sounds like you were a little angry with your doctor for suggesting you shouldn't have any more children. Were you? If I were perfectly healthy I would take offense to some one saying to me that I had enough children. I am aware that society sees it as "inappropriate" to have a large family. But it's no one's business but your own. Just curious. I know that's how I would feel.
It's funny how life works out, I always imagined myself as having a large family but you are absolutely right about focusing on the many other joys in life.

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

This is a difficult decision for anyone to make.

I had pre-term labor when pregnant with my daughter and nearly lost her. The medication given to me caused issues that resulted in it not being advisable to have more children. It was very difficult, especially when I saw families of more than 2 children. I come from a family of 7 and always wanted 4 children of my own.

What helped me was knowing that having another child would make it difficult to be the best mother I could be be to my 2 children.

Having worked with austic children, you have along road with that child. Your now problem free child could also develop issues later on. My daughter was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder at 13. In hindsight, I was glad not to have had more children, though do sometimes feel wistful.

SnglDad's picture
SnglDad

Adopt.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Adoption is a good route to take, although even then, you don't always know what the outcome will be.

acitez's picture
acitez

But at least you know that you will be able to stay on your meds during the pregnancy

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Good pt, acitez.