smurfette's picture
smurfette

My Son is Avoiding His Dad

My son is 19, in college out of state, and working there for the summer. He is good about communicating with me once or twice a week by email or phone and I still feel that he and I are close. But he has really been avoiding my husband since he left for college, to the point where I am telling my husband what our son has to say, but they rarely talk to each other for more than half a minute. I can tell my husband feels bad about this. He isn't good at email or the cell phone, so it seems like they will really become estranged if I don't pass information back and forth, but am I making things worse?



LMcAbee's picture
LMcAbee

I have a 16 yr old son who is not living with us and he speaks to me more than his father also. They have no problems that I know of. I think that women ask more questions than men and their questions are more personal. Also boys are more abrupt than girls. For instance i would say to my son "how are you doing? Hows school going? and when he answers I comment or reply in some way. My husband would just say so hows it going? And my son would say Good. End of conversation. After a few minutes of that they are both eager to get off the phone. Too much work to be enjoyable. Men just dont have the gift of gab that women do. Well many men anyways. It could just be simple like that. I wouldnt worry too much as long as they are still comfortable around each other in person. Since your husband is worried or bothered by it would it be possible for him to go visit your son? Maybe buy some sport or concert tickets to go together? Or even sending him some. You can make up a care package and your husband can sign a thinking of you card and you send it. That wayyeven if your husband isnt good at "that kinds of things" he can still do it. Unless there is something going on between them in which case I really wouldnt know. Good Luck.