loangel_99's picture
loangel_99

Ethan's story, need advice

I am dating a man that has a 5 year old "son". He adopted Ethan 3 years ago when his brother (Ethan's father) died. Ethan's mother did not want him. I am not really sure how much he knows or understands but he does know his daddy is not his real daddy. Now that I have become a serious part of his dad's life I am worried that Ethan is starting to have some behavior problems because he is feeling like his daddy is not paying enough attention to him. We do family things every week and Ethan and I both say I love you to each other. I am not sure how much he understands of everything and the poor boy has already gone through so much. Can anyone recomend a way for me to get advice on how to make this all easier for me and Ethan?



mom2to's picture
mom2to

Try sitting down with him and work on a scrapbook. Explain that you have not always been a part of the family, the same as him. Yet, you would like to work on having all three of you together as one family.

 

Talk to him about wanting to feel included, and what makes a "real" daddy. God gave him a set of birth parents that helped create him and bring him into the world. God needed (improvise for him here) his birth daddy, so he made sure Ethan received a "life" daddy. This one does all the things daddies are supposed to do. Get him to tell you what things his dad does for him.

 

Talk about how wonderful it is to spend time with his dad, and how you like to spend time with him too. He may not be ready to share him or he may have some fears he is not fully understanding himself. Use toys when talking to him and act out roles. This is a non-threatening way to get him to open up. I hope this helps.