Jothegrill's picture
Jothegrill

Creative way to deal with pornography

I think my mother is a genius! My baby brother started looking at things he shouldn't on the internet when he was 11. My mom found out and managed to stay much calmer than I did. She made an appointment to spend an afternoon with him and took him to a local art museum. Then they went and sat in front of a very large painting of a naked woman. My mom watched him and talked to him about other things. She asked him about how he was feeling. He was very uncomfortable. My mom pointed out that when he feels the way he did when he was sitting in front of that painting, it was his body telling him something. She said to pay attention to that feeling and that when other things made him feel "icky" like that he should avoid them. He was self regulated and never had a problem with it from then on. We had some interesting things happen around the house though. Some magazine covers were colored over with black marker. Many advertizements which normally would show sleepwear and underwear were missing large sections. My brother just didn't want those kind of things around the house, so he took care of it. Anyone else have ideas about how to deal with this issue?



BoldSkankin's picture
BoldSkankin

Wow. I think your mother may have done more harm than good. While I agree that 11 is too young to be viewing pornography, I do not think it is right to do what your mother did, which is to make your brother uncomfortable with all aspects of sexuality. By needling the boy in front of a picture of a naked woman (and in an art museum, no less!) she has instilled in him a pathological fear of the female form. Shame on your mother and on you for cheering her on.

BobMeadows's picture
BobMeadows

Jothegrill,

I must agree with BoldSkankin. You genius mother may have intended to help, but you know what they say about good intentions and the road to Hell. She was wrong! Is she aware of the potential problems? Your brother is headed for a life of frustration and possibly worse. The end of this is that he may develop self-judging psychological issues in the face of what should be normal urges and responses to females. And, his reaction to this could range from denial (as shown in the blacking out of magazine covers) to aggression (crimes) toward women.

 

Basically your mother has told him to deny normal feelings and rather than explain that those feelings are ok and help him develop normally, she left it to him to avoid and deny them… alone. There is no way he can interpret that message other than believing there is something wrong with or bad about him, or women. I am not saying he should give in to all feelings without learning self-control; but, self-control is not the denial of reality

 

Your brother needs some counseling from a guy, not you or mom. I have trouble believing anyone living in this century would describe to a boy whose hormones are starting to kick in that his normal urges are "icky". How sad. When you see a boy you like are your feelings icky?

 

Your brother may live a life of shame and guilt if someone fails to intercede to correct the grievous error your mother made and you apparently support.

 

Don’t be offended by these comments. They are not personal, and were meant only to make a strong point and serve as a wakeup call. What is important is your Brother. If you love your brother and want him to have healthy and happy relationships with women, and himself, get him some corrective guidance… now!

 

DaMoKi Bob