mandibabe83's picture
mandibabe83

family drama at my house

My sister and her boyfriend came down in April with their baby and they have not yet found a job. They are living with us for free. Just about every day they argue around me my husband and one year old son. I am gettiong so tired of the drama and not sure what to do. They do not even try to help out in any way. Family thinks we should get along and make it work. I am getting stressed out and depressed. Any advice would be nice. Thanks Amanda



randosha's picture
randosha

Hi..

Try to sit down with your sister and talk to her about what bother you.

Its very nice to help our relatives but sometimes they will use our kindness till the limit that we loose the control over our house.

Are there any alternatives like:

1- Can they stay in your mother's house?
2- can they stay at the family house of the boyfriend?
3- are they really seaching for a job or just depending that there is already a shelter to occupy them?
4- Does your sister help you at house work?
5- do they give your family a privacy sometimes?
6- Can you take your husband and your little son and go outside ALONE sometimes without their company?

Waiting to hear from you soon.

mandibabe83's picture
mandibabe83

My mom does not want them to live with her. My sister is depressed and she does not need all this drama in her life. My sister gives us to much drama. She barely even tries to look for a job. All she does is stay online all day. My husband and i have long talks with her to try and put things in positive terms to help her but she takes the advice but not for long then she is making up excuses that she does not have a car or anything. I am mentally tired and stressed out of trying to help. My husband works his ass off to support all of them. We have barely made it in the house hold with bills. They are probably secure with what they do have a free place that maybe they just dont care about how we feel.

randosha's picture
randosha

Dear mandibabe8,

I will try my best to help you, dont worry..

But I have some questions and I would like you to answer them so that we will find a solution.

1- Is your sister a trouble maker so that your mom doesnt want her to stay with her?

2- Is it something belongs to your mom's mode? Sometimes the mothers will be moody dont they? If this is the reason, then its time to talk to YOUR MOM.

3- why the couples are without support? Does the boyfriend used to work before? and what is he doing now?

4- What is the role of the boyfriend's family?

Maybe your sister is depressed bcs she thought that it should be your mom's responsibility to take care of her.

I need to know the answer to these questions one by one pls, then I will skip to next level.

Waiting

mandibabe83's picture
mandibabe83

Yes my sister is a trouble maker but in a guilty way to were she tries to start drama because she thinks no one loves her and she feels alone without anything. Mom has enough drama and she told me she is already going through depression that she is just going to feel even more depressed if they move in. With her she is having a break own right as i type. She is sauing no one cares about her even though we have tried to help lots of times. Her boyfriend has drugs on his background so he cannot get a job. his family seems to not want to help and not welling to try to ask them for help

randosha's picture
randosha

Yes I know that type of people unfortunatly.

They like to be the center of attention all the time even if they sometims create anything to be in the spot.

Maybe your sister was having a life full of joy before this boyfriend came into town. After she knew him, it seems that she got lots of troubles that she missed the free life she used to have. And it seems that her choise was not good, even your mother doesnt like him. Now your sister in a situation that she can not admit that was wrong.

Can I talk to her??

If yes, ask the management her to delete your subject so that she will not see. Then open another subject called "Free discussion", and dont tell her that you are its owner.

Let her blow up there with the negative feelings that she has.. And everyone here is very kind and helpful. They will sort out her problems and yours as well, without telling her..

I will try my best, dont worry..

If the answer is no, let me know to give you other alternatives.

AlabamaX3's picture
AlabamaX3

Wow 4 months, if either of them had been working they could have saved up enough to get a car and/or put a deposit on a place of their own. I think you need to have a sit down talk with everyone and set down some rules and expectations. One of them needs to make a trip to the local unemployment office (even people with felonies can get jobs).

mandibabe83's picture
mandibabe83

I would say she can come on here and let oput her feelings but i think she will not listen to advice since she does not listen to family advice. And for her boyfriend not sure what kind of work he can do.

mandibabe83's picture
mandibabe83

I would say she can come on here and let oput her feelings but i think she will not listen to advice since she does not listen to family advice. And for her boyfriend not sure what kind of work he can do.

randosha's picture
randosha

A person always will listen from a stranger rather than listening from a family's member. Its is very common.

Think about it and let us know. If it didnt work,then we can talk here to solve this problem.

mandibabe83's picture
mandibabe83

My sister said she does not like talking about her problems and life online.