Ms. Jessie's picture
Ms. Jessie

What to do

I HAVE A FIVE YR OLD AND HE IS GOING ALL THE TIME FROM RUNNING TO NOT MINDING TO THE BACK TALKING AND I GET SO MAD AND FRUSTRATED B/C HE DOESN'T LISTEN



concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

5 yrs old seems to be tough age. I know b/c I have a 5 yr old. Many people have posted on this site about their difficulties w/ their 5 yr olds as well. Like Marti said, take charge of the situation. You're in charge, not him. Let you're son know that he won't get what he wants by misbehaving. Be consistent, and be firm. DON'T GIVE IN whatever you do, or you'll create a monster!

healthy4u's picture
healthy4u

Patience and consistancy are so crucial. When our youngest was 5, he actually told us that he wanted to start making some of his own decisions. So we held a family meeting and decided what decisions he could make vs us. It really helped him feel like his opinion mattered and that is wasn't just about "telling him what to do". We didn't have to use time outs too often, we got better results by determining what his "currency" was (sometimes changed weekly) and took away privileges when he misbehaved or was disrepectful. Hope that helps! Blessings:)

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Great idea, Michele.

unknown's picture
unknown

Unknown

Its so hard to tell what to do as each situation is different. Sometimes you get a good idea you think you got something that will really work, and when you try to implicate it with your kids it just backfires. Each child is different and sometimes you will need to implement several kind of methods on a Child depending on the situation. Sometimes I compromise and sometimes I stand my ground. I also try not to raise my voice (although kids tend to listen only when they hear you hollering already.) if the child doesn't follow instructions or plays deaf and dumb I will repeat myself sometimes 3 or 4 times in the same calm way and this always works. I realized that when you keep your cool and don't go out of control then you take control. If you do lose your calm that's when the child feels that you are in a fighting mode and instead of listening fights back or becomes defensive.

So I try #1 to keep my calm.

#2 I don't leave an opening for ifs and buts. I stand ground and repeat myself until the child follows instructions.

#3 when necessary I will compromise every now and then. Like you can't have two cookies, but you may have one if you will finish up fast etc.

#4 I try to avoid battles. If a child insists on something, when possible I let them learn their own lesson. If I feel can't let them get their way I say so, not leaving any room for arguments. Let's say if a child is slow in dressing themselves in the morning I will make sure he misses the bus once or twice and then the child learns he needs to get ready fast. But when he insists on wearing nothing when I say he needs to put on a coat I tell him its a coat or or staying home you can't go without. The child sees that you are firm with your statement he doesn't argue anymore.

Hope that helps.