Host Marti's picture
Host Marti

Welcome to the discipline board!

Hi
 
I just wanted to welcome everyone to our new and improved boards.  I think that everyone will love the new updated boards, they are so easy to navigate and to read. 
 
I am Marti and I will be here to help you with any questions you might have and to enjoy the boards with you!  Please let me know any suggestions or feedback you might have.  If there are any great boards we should add, I would love to hear what you think.
 
Again, welcome and I look forward to getting to know everyone soon.
 
Marti
 
www.familyeducation.com



sbeauchampc's picture
sbeauchampc

Thanks for the warm welcome.  I'm extremely new to message boards.  In fact this is the first one I've engaged in.  I have a son (well, actually two), but the 10 1/2 yr. old is really giving me a run for my 38 yr. old body.  Sometimes I wonder which one of us is going to survive this year!  A friend loaned me her book, Your Ten to Fourteen Year Old, it's just that all that "stuff" doesn't always pertain to specific issues related to your own child.  If anyone has any ideas or suggestions for other resources, I'll be more than happy to try them out.  Thanks for listening, and I hope everyone out there had a wonderful Mother's Day!  It was beautiful up here in New Hampshire! 

sbeauchampc's picture
sbeauchampc

Thank you for such a quick response!  I was wondering if there possibly could be a discussion board regarding OCD and anxiety issues with students.  Especially those getting ready to enter middle school.  Or just those boys (like my 10 year old) who tend to obsess the minute a change in their schedule is made or a possible sleep-over may be in the future.  It really doesn't matter.  Sometimes, it can just be that what we're eating for dinner has changed!  (Did I mention he has ADHD?)  Sorry....Help!

Stacey

Nanny416's picture
Nanny416

Hi Marti,

 

What a beautiful intro! Thank you for your greeting.

 

“It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” - The Golden Girls

jfnorri's picture
jfnorri

My son is 4 and half years of age and has been experiencing a lot of difficulty behaving in school. He is a awesome kid and rarely do I have problems with him at home. In school he has been asked to leave for the day numerous time in the last month due to hitting and talking back. Last episode he was playing with a ball throwing it at another kid. When asked by teacher to stop he swatted at her and called her stupid. I believe most of his anger or trouble is from our recent addition to the family. He has a new sister that is 5 weeks old. My question is how long should his punishment be for. We use no TV as punishment and seems to be hitting hard, but how long do I take TV away.

Acadianpride2's picture
Acadianpride2

Hi everyone and thank you for such a warm welcome.This is my first
time in any group discussions,and I'm scared like hell..cause i realy
don't know where to start. We can be here for a very long time.lol.
Well I'll start at the beggining. I have an 8 year old little girl,
very tallented,very inteligent.But the thing is..she tries to run my
life. If she's not happy..my husband or myself  ask her whats
wrong and she'll just tell us where to go.I mean,she'll yell at us for
hours and we can never put a word in..she always have to have the last
word ALWAYS. She told me on numerous occasions that she wished that she
didn't have a mom like me. Now that is hurtfull...I feel that I failled
as a mother.I sometime whant to get in my car and drive away and never
coming back....she'll only stop her tamtrum whenever i start crying
.and I do that alot,not by choice either..she realy hurts me.I had her
in Baton Twirling..she was in that for 4 yrs.then she quit that cause
she wanted to try somthing else..so she started piano lessons..she
loved it..until she started Karate..witch she adores..now she wants to
quit piano lessons..witch   is ok wiith us. But the thing it...why
is she so upset all the time..I even considered having her checked by
the family doctor..to find out if she has any ADD problems or
something...this goes on day after day after day.I find myself
sometime..thinking that I should hurt myself in order to have her
appreciate me.I just want her love and affection,is that asking for too
much from your own child.??? She also call me stupid or a bullie
tonight she hit her fist on the wall and said to her father this is
mom.Then she said she was just joking...How do you think i took
that,,??? litghtly..??? NO....it broke my heart.

Well..iI guess that will be it for now...Sorry It had to be this
long...but I need help and I need it soon...cause I 'm hurting so much
and it's hurting our family too. Please anyone..I need Help.


MBeth's picture
MBeth

Wow, I can understand how hurt you feel when you put up with that all the time.
I have 4 grown children, have a degree in Early Childhood Education and 22+ years in the Childcare field.
  The best very basic advice I have for you is to remember above all else - YOU are the parent and she is the child..
At this age you can not, must not, try to be her friend and try to win her love and acceptance.  It is your job to be her authority.  Authority with love and respect, but she needs  to learn to respect and listen to you. We are all afraid of two words in this present generation and those words are "NO" and "obedience".
Parenting can be easier if you show unconditional love to your child and give her strong and consistant boundaries and insist that she obeys  you. She treats you the way she does because she knows she CAN and it works. She makes you sad and cry and that gives HER the control over you. Probably for 8 years she has been able to get what she wants by making you feel this way. When you repeatedly allow her to do this, it becomes a way of life for her. She may not even like that she does this but she knows no other way to communicat. You need to change things TODAY with her.

If you need more information on exactly how to do those basic things, I would be glad to elaborate via email

rain009's picture
rain009

I am new to these message boards but have found some very helpful info here.  I just wanted to say I have a 12 year old girl who likes to call my 6 year old boy mean names and he bangs his fists on doors, window.  She does this almost every day and I am afraid he will hurt himself badly.  Does someone have any information or advice?  He has been banging his head on the walls since toddler whenever frustrated.  Does this mean he is autistic or just normal behaviour?

helentsoi's picture
helentsoi

I have read lots of posts on this site about children who do not listen to their parents. We are going through this problem with our 51/2 year old. She is very bright and, although she is not outright naughty, she often doesn't listen and seems hell bent on driving us to distraction. We have tried time out and withholding 'treats' such as attending parties etc, but to no avail. She seems to get over these quite quickly. Is this normal for children of this age? Or are we doing something wrong or not doing something right?

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Kids normally will do what they can to push parents buttons. Be consistent, and carry through. Also, be firm. To the mom who said her son bangs his fists/head: you need to reprimand your daughter. Don't let her get away w/ taunting her brother. See if there's any change in your son's behavior once his sister lets up. If not, you can bring it to his dr's attention. However, unless you see other unusual behaviors characteristic to an autistic child, I'm sure your son is just very frustrated. He, too, needs to be taught how to better handle the teasing. Whether he choices to walk away or stand up to his sister is his choice, but like you said, you don't want him to get hurt.

stellababe's picture
stellababe
I have a Gifted, 1LD son with ADHD. My son is 11 years old and in grade 6, French Immersion Program. The issue today was about school permissions to leave the grounds during lunch.The problems was: 1. I gave him verbal permission and a few dollars in the morning. 2. The permission form I signed at the beginning of the school year is not on record. My forgetful son may have failed to hand it in or it was an administration error. 3. Attempting to gain permission, my son FORGED A PERMISSION NOTE with my name. The note laughably obvious, wasn't from me. I got a call. 4. He has received detention today at school. 5. He sent me a note via email from school: "It’s you’re fault though you know you need to write a note! So why did you not write a note! To: mom" He's not taking ownership for his act of fraud, nor the possibility that the original permission form wasn't handed in. This is VERY MUCH in character for him. Any ideas?