Hi everyone, I'm new to this board but I'm really looking for ways to guide my child's behavior by positive reinforcement. My daughter is seven years old now. She is very sensitive to us and very, very hard on herself when she does something wrong.  I generally punish by time out, loss of privileges or by allowing the natural consequences of her actions then talking it through. But sometimes it is very difficult to be patient and tell her things over and over and so she gets the occasional swat or verbal equivalent of a swat.  I am concerned for two reasons, 1. It seems that I talk to her over and over but she's beginning to respond only when she is punished. Since I'm trying to teach her to do right because it is right that's not working for me. I am beginning to see that she doesn't not feel safe coming to us when she does something wrong because she knows we will be upset, so she's been trying to hide when she misbehaves. I really don't want punishment to close our lines of communication. So I'm trying to figure out what else to do. I really feel that what happens in our relationship now sets the tone for when she is a teen and adult and I want to figure this out before that time comes. All suggestions and references are welcome.