Partner undermines my discipline
Hi, I need some advice. Last night, my son asked for a donut and I said no because it was late, they aren't good for him, and he had already had one. So, he went and asked his father for one. With his dad present, I said to my son "What did mommy say when you asked?", then I left the room for a minute. When I came back, the two boys were heading upstairs and my partner had given our son another donut and was trying to tell him to be quiet about it but our son announced to me that he had gotten another. That upset me so much! When I tried to talk to my partner about it this morning, he tried to play it off like he didn't know I had said no. Then when I called him on the fact that he was trying to sneak out of the room and keep our son quiet, he got defensive and said something rude to me. He thinks I'm over-reacting about the entire situation and won't apologize or talk with me about it. I'm not sure what else to do--I tried to have a civil conversation to tell him how I felt and now we aren't speaking. I strongly believe that we should both be on the same page concerning all discipline, but I always end up being the "bad cop". Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I really don't have anyone else to talk to about this. I tried to talk to my son about it to explain that it's wrong to go to the other parent when one says no, but he's only 3.5 yrs old and he didn't really understand what I was saying.