chadmelissaweav's picture
chadmelissaweav

In Need Of Serious Help

Ok I am a mom of 5 children. 2 boys 3 girls ages 11,9,9,8,7. It is a yours mine and ours situation. I am at my wits end. They never mind me I can tell them one thing and it is like I never spoke to them. matter of fact they never hear me unless I yell at them which tht is my last resort. I hate to yell. I work a full time job and so does my hubby. but mostly I am there with the kids due to dh working 14 on and 14 off. My kids will walk thru the house with a pop tart and eat the thing then just throw the paper down on the floor. I have did charts I have grounded I have taken things away. I am to the point where I just want to walk away. ( I have never said tht out loud) I am so stressed I have done everything tht I can research and still it doesn't matter. What am I doing wrong. I feel like the worst mother in the world.



mayamay's picture
mayamay

Start working with the 11 year old. Just completely ignore the others, because it is too big a job to change the whole family.
I'm going to propose a goal for you, but you can change it so that it makes more sense for you. Here's my idea for a goal:

My goal is for Kid A to politely obey me 80% of the time.

What do you think? What would you change?

These boards don't notify you when there's a change, but if you respond quickly, I'll try to respond quickly. Just hit the "All Recent Posts" in a couple of minutes to see if I've posted.

chadmelissaweav's picture
chadmelissaweav

Well the 11 yr old is my biggest problem he acts like he is 4 like literally. He wants to whine and talk like a baby. He will be 12 in Dec. I have tried statrting with him taking time out to go over things and tell him tht he is what the others look up to. and tht I think he is more than able to do tht job I am asking cause he is so smart. but anything thing I have tried has just went out the window

mayamay's picture
mayamay

You say he acts like he's 4. That makes me wonder--how old was he when his birth family broke up?

chadmelissaweav's picture
chadmelissaweav

since birth... I have had him since he was almost 6 his mom and his father was never together. I was married to his dad and he cheated on me and had my son tht I am now caring for without his dad. I am remarried.. it is a long drawn out story tht I could write a book on.

mayamay's picture
mayamay

I think you need to get into family counseling. You and your son have been in a stressful situation, and I think you need help to establish the relationship that will make your lives better.

chadmelissaweav's picture
chadmelissaweav

we are in counseling... When I say I have tried it all I mean we have tried lol and are still trying it.. I just feel like I have lost control of my home. and don't know how to get it back

mayamay's picture
mayamay

Have you talked to your counselor about wanting better obedience from the kids?

chadmelissaweav's picture
chadmelissaweav

Yes and we have done everything tht she has given us to work on from diaries to letting my kids vent without getting in trouble (telling me what they don't like if they are mad ect.) charts letting them pick there punishments and sign the paper (house rules)

mayamay's picture
mayamay

There's a thing from Boys Town about teaching kids how to respond to directions from adults. Let me see if I can find it. Give me about 10 min.

chadmelissaweav's picture
chadmelissaweav

ok sounds good I am at work so I will be around all night... also my kids are they perfect kids when they are at someone elses home. Never give the baby sitter any problems or other family members. I ask WHY ME!