hdmgirls's picture
hdmgirls

My three girls are driving me up the wall

I am a single mom of three girls 8,3 and 2 and all they do is fight. I feel like everyday is a battle and all I do is yell because they don't listen. My 8 year old gets very angry when I discipline her for taking things from her sisters. She pinches them and hits them as well as sometimes even throwing things across the room. I tell her to go to her room and cool off but then she says everyone hates her.
My 3 year old doesn't like when her little sister is saying things over and over again. She will continue to go against me when I punish her; when I put her on time out after her time is up she will go right back to doing it again. Her older sister always tells her that she hates her. She also hits her younger sister if she doesn't get what she wants. My two year old she actually listens more than the other two but she constantly hits and pulls hair But I think she is learning it from her other two sisters. All I hear all day Is "MOM this one did this and this one did that" and it is constant fighting in my house. My oldest daughter acts like she is the mom and tries to take control of things and I always tell her that she is 8 and it is not her job to discipline her sisters and she needs to stop pinching them all the time' she has very loose hands. I don't know what to do. I am at the point that I don't want to come home from work anymore and listen to the fighting and bickering.



GlamGirl's picture
GlamGirl
Ask them what they like, if they say candy or iPads, take the things they like away for a day. Then they will be sad and try harder to behave.
insomnimom's picture
insomnimom
Go do something somewhere together. Scary as it may sound, if you go to someplace none of you have been before, you'll all need to rely on each other to accomplish the goal. This could be a hike though nearby woods or visiting a local tourist attraction. Let it be known to the two yonger ones that the 8yo "needs" to help so she is at least partial in charge. The 8yo just really wants to be managerial it sounds like. So, try giving her some responsibility.
kfrazier's picture
kfrazier
If you find the answer besides picking up extra hours at work let me know! I am also a working mom of 3 with another on the way. my oldest is a boy though and is only 5. My oldest daughter is 3 and my younges is 1 1/2. yet, its all the same. my son tries to be the parent no matter how many times he's told and its always the tattling, and she/he hit me and so on and so forth. I've even tried seperating them during playtime, that was an epic fail as my oldest daughter started screaming for her brother. I feel like the worst parent ever for how much i yell. i must hold a record. I've tried going out with them, I've tried everything. taking their favorite toys away. nothing works!!!!
Old school father's picture
Old school father
I know nobody will like my advise but here it is. Have any of you ever thought of turning of the tv siting down with your kids and hiring them?? I'm not talking about beating your kids of coarse but a firm hand in discipline and consistency does the trick. If your kids are hitting each other,hit them then ask them how they like it. Same thing for pulling hair or biting! If you have never used Dutch revolutionary technics then you need to set your kids down and explain that things are changing! Tell them you've tried the nice way now your going to do things old school like your parents or at least your grandparents did. I'm sure you all said that when you became parents you would do things different than your parents did and you wouldn't spank your kids. We'll guess what it ain't working because if it did you wouldn't be here asking for advise. Put on your big boy/girl pants grow up and be a real parent.
Old school father's picture
Old school father
Just noticed spelling error.... Not hiring them....HITTING THEM!!!!
Old school father's picture
Old school father
And furthermore as far as yelling goes it only shows how little control you have over the situation. It is much more effective to be calm cool and keep a low voice with an even tone. Let me sum up the basic guideline for raising children.... #1. Love. Needs no explanation. #2 discipline. This means spankings, time outs explanations of what they did wrong and taking away of privileges. In that order! #3 structure. Have a routine and a strict set of rules make clear the results of disobedience and the rewards for obedience. #4 consistency. If it's wrong today it's wrong tomorrow don't let kids get away with acting up just because it inconveniences you to have to discipline them. Follow those rule and your kids will be angels.
junieg's picture
junieg
Sorry kfarzier, but it has to be said, why are you going to have another baby if you can't cope with the three you already have? It just doesn't make any sense to me.