a.hardway's picture
a.hardway

Just stop hurting me!

I am a mother of a wonderful little boy getting ready to turn two, but he wont stop hurting me!! He vents his anger from hearing the word no by hitting me in the face, bitting me, or pinching me I just don't know what to do to make it stop. His doctor said that I must not be strong enough with me bouneries but I disagree. I feel that when I set bounderies I do stick with them because I understand that it is important. We have also just introduced the time-out chair which is NOT working!! He will sit there but as soon as he gets of he comes at me again with a slap or bit! I just don't know what to do! It makes me feel like a bad mom because he doesn't do it to my husband or anyone else. I don't understand what I am doing that makes him so angree with me!!

      -Painfully parenting



5Pickles's picture
5Pickles

For starters you need to not take it as anger toward you.  Actually it is normal for a child to lash out the most with the parent they are with the most.  They feel safe to be mad.  Try and remember this when he is being mean to you.  He feels safe to be angry and in a way this is a good thing.  Now of course his way of showing his anger has to go.  I am a mother of three under the age of six and my son bit, hit and had some dandy tantrums.  With him Time out didn't work till he was almost 4 and never worked when he was angry.  I had to place him somewhere safe so his tantrum could run its course.  This was either his crib or the bathroom.  I also have a little girl about to turn two and she likes to try and slap me some times.  I am a lot more laid back as she is my 3rd and I think it helps.  I try all differnt kinds of stuff with her.  Some times I pretend slapping in the air and mimic her but in a funny way.  Other times I hit her the same way she hit me and say see that hurts the mommy and we hug.  All I can say is you have to learn what works with this child and give yourself some grace that he may outgrow this behavior before you figure it out.

elisha's picture
elisha
Well, here's some advice from a mother of a son. There most always be clear expectations of what you want your son to do and not to do. For every positive behavior you should try to reward him, whether it be reading his favorite book, going to the park or whatever things he likes to do. Also there has to be consequences for his inappropriate behavior. Explain to him what you did not like about his action and because of that he has to sit in the time out chair. Tell him how long and get a timer so he can also know how long and only when the timer goes off can he get up. Most importantly you are the parent and do not allow him to hit you. If at the age of 2 he does it now, than what do you think is going to happen when he gets older/
a.hardway's picture
a.hardway

Thank you for taking time to respond. I have taken your advice, today when he started to have a tantrum I just laid him in his crib and it lasted half the time that it would have. I think he realized that although I recignized the tantrum I wasn't going to condone it.

Thanks again,

Alishah

a.hardway's picture
a.hardway

Thank you for taking time to respond. I agree, if he slaps now what will he do later, and that is what scares me about his tantrums. But, I have tried a couple on new things with him and I think it is working. Today I just sat him in his crib and walked away. I think he understood that I wouldn't put up with it.

Thanks again,

Alishah