newparentontheblock's picture
newparentontheblock

Help!!!

I have a 7 year old that's getting out of control. Its been getting worst and worst every month. It started out with little fibs and to just out right lies. And now cussing, fighting, and refusing to do anything an adult asks.

For Example: I saw him trip my 2 year old and laugh about it while I was in the kitchen. I asked why he tripped his little brother, and he said "that he didn't do it. He fell by himself." So I told him that I saw him do it from the kitchen and I wanted to know why he did it. He then responded that "it was an accident, and that he didn't see the baby." So I made him sit in time out for 15 minutes.

And then more recently, he's been cussing in school! And I mean F-Bombing it everywhere, so the teacher tells me. (And I do not cuss! I think it's ignorant and shows how out of control you are.) Once again I asked him who and where he learned it from. Once again he lies, says he just knew the words or he read it in his book (which is Charlotte's Web, I don't think so...) I so made him write out "I will not cuss in school anymore." 100 times.

And then today in school he got in trouble for throwing scissors at another kid! And if that wasn't enough, he was F-bombing it again on the bus! The bus driver had to pull over and demanded him to get to the front of the bus and he refused! The bus driver told me he was now running 15 minutes late because of the incident. I don't know what to do.

I've tried everything! I know many people say it but I mean it! I have the Nanny 911 book and the Super Nanny one. I've tried charts to show progress and when it got to a certain point he would be rewarded. I've tried Extra allowance. I've done time outs, writing sentences, taking everything away (his room just has a bed and a dresser.) it just seems like he doesn't care. I've taken him to a "Family Therapist," I've done everything you can imagine. Someone please help me...

I think my last choice would be boarding school



Decidtastay's picture
Decidtastay

Sounds like he is asking for some one on one attention from MOM, not negative attention. Where's Dad in the pic? If Dad's not around you should probably get a babysitter for the 2yr. old and take your 7yr old somewhere for his special day... minature golf is great for letting a little steam off (for both of you) Also, you can give him some responsibilty around the house instead of punishment. Have a family meeting and tell him the rules and tell how important his participation is so everyone is content in the house..

newparentontheblock's picture
newparentontheblock

Dad is not in the pic, he's in prison. I will try that, thank you

2xstepmom's picture
2xstepmom

Does he give any reasons for all this acing out? Possibly he misses his father and is frustrated/angry he cannot see him?

I work in Child Mental Health and once worked with a boy who acted this outrageously and finally confided he wanted to be really bad so he could go live with his father in jail. The ironic thing was that his father was in jail for child abuse charges related to the boy.

Children are very complicated and this is a complicated situation that needs to be addressed with compassion and understanding instead of so much punishment.

You should not have to deal with this alone. Go to the school or your church or local Social Services Agency for some assistance.

lschultz's picture
lschultz

"So I made him sit in time out for 15 minutes" To me this punishment does not fit the crime. Natural consequences for lying is that he can no longer be trusted. Take away a privelage he has earned in trust for example: does he go to friends houses alot? if he cant be trusted to tell the truth, than he cant be trusted to go to his friends house. What privlages does he have that you have given him in "trust" that he will obey your rules? Take them away. Tell him since he cant be trusted to speak the truth he cant be trusted for anything.

As for using foul language, have you considered brushing his teeth with baking soda? Doesnt taste very good, but, wont harm him. Have you considered taking him into the classroom to publicly apologize for speaking to his teacher disrespectfully?

As for the bus incident, I would request that your child remain in the front seat of the bus. If that doesnt work, well natural consequence of not abiding by the bus rules, is he can no longer ride the bus.