Disciplining Stepson for rude behavior
Am at my wits end, more or less.
Married four months and am having step child problems. I have a 15 year old stepson who has been rude and threatening to me pretty much from the get go. He's a normal boy, more or less, gets good grades, but...
Some of his behavior is quite disturbing, although I am savvy enough to understand the manipulative value of shock as a teen tool for controlling any and all situations.
Some of his past behaviors include telling my daughter he will rape her, telling her and me that he will kill us and dump our bodies, deliberately hurting my two little dogs by dropping them or slamming them to the floor.
Last night he out of the blue announced that he would love to anchor the evening news and if he did he would announce to the world that he wanted to stick his penis in my face.
His father said nothing. Later when I demanded that my husband address the disrespect, my husband required him to apologize. That ended in my stepson denying he said anything, and telling me I could [filtered word] off.
His father, my husband, gets very angry at me when I protest disrespect and never corrects the behavior in any way at all until I prod him. I assure him that I am not attacking my stepson, but the behavior is shockingly inappropriate and needs correction.
My husband doesn't seem to get it and views it as some kind of [filtered word]ing contest.
I feel victimized, which I am angry about, as I hate the victim role. My self esteem is suffering too. It is difficult not to internalize disrespect of both my stepson and my husband, who cosigns the behavior.
We did go to a counselor and are seeing our pastor about it.
I'm in trouble I think and really feel horrible and don't know how to get the situation back to normal, if it ever was normal.
Appreciate some help.