karentheawkward's picture
karentheawkward

Curfew for 14 year old?

I am fourteen years old, a Freshman in High School and like to consider myself fairly responsible. I'm in all top classes and am an A student. (Occasionally B in harder subjects.)

After a recent misunderstanding on where my father was to pick me up after a night at a Film Festival, in which I ended up meeting up with my dad at 11 PM, he got very angry saying "14 year olds shouldn't be out at 11".

This is sad for me, because I would have loved to go to the closing for the Film Festival which is on a Sunday. (Incidentally, this is the Boston Palestine Film Festival.) However, because it begins at 7:30, I doubt that it will be possible.

I hang out with very responsible friends, and if they're older they're mostly from Speech Team, aka. the most legit team in our WHOLE school, I mean, seriously.

I live around 15 minute from Boston in a safe suburb, but I mostly hang out at Harvard Sq., which is about 45 minutes to an hour away from my house including walking from the T.

Although my parents are pretty liberal when it comes to staying at friends' houses late, they somehow do not like staying out past 6 PM. This Saturday I was at the Museum of Fine Arts until 7:30, and they were iffy about that too! However, I REALLY want to go to this Film Festival, especially as someone very interested in Palestinian culture and politics. However, I haven't told my parents the nature of this Film Festival because they always disapprove of anything too "political".

Anyways. I would like to reach a compromise of, at least a 10 PM curfew with my parents, especially if I don't spend my time outside. At this rate, I am considering trying the tactic of having my parents drop me off early near a friend's house, claim to hang out with them but instead take the T out to the Film Festival, then visit my friend's house and ask my parents to pick me up, claiming I was there the whole time. However, I really WOULD not want to resort to that. Negotiation would be much preferable.

I believe that 11 is a reasonable curfew for a 14 year old.

Am I delusional?



acitez's picture
acitez

Is there any reason why you wouldn't want to invite your parents to accompany you to the film festival? I do think that 11 is late to be out with no adult in the crowd. It's not about you, it's about all the other people.
I don't mean your friends, I mean the people on the street and at the film festival and at the terminal and all the places in between.

tamz's picture
tamz

If everything you have said is true (and I have no reason to believe it is not) then your parents are being unreasonable. I hope some parents will read this post and understant that even responsible and mature kids resort to LYING when they are not allowed resaonable independence. I know your parents only want you to be safe and it sounds like they are raising a smart and responsible kid, but it's time to give you the freedom you have earned. I suggest you discuss your desires openly with your parents. Tell them the TRUTH about your event and ask them to allow you to enjoy the liberty you have earned. If they still say no, then stay home. When you are 18 you will be free to make those decisons for yourself.

karentheawkward's picture
karentheawkward

Thank you for your input and advice, I will try to talk to my parents before Sunday. Right now there is some stress because of my dog who is sick. I also have a Speech Tournament this Saturday. But I'm sure I can find some time.

"Is there any reason why you wouldn't want to invite your parents to accompany you to the film festival? I do think that 11 is late to be out with no adult in the crowd. It's not about you, it's about all the other people."
Well, I'd rather they not accompany me, I'd rather just not go. And, perhaps would home by 10 PM be a better compromise then, instead of 11 which is too late considering where I am and such?

"When you are 18 you will be free to make those decisons for yourself." Oh boy, I can't wait until I turn 18 and leave for college and be independent, financially, socially and otherwise. Although, I won't be able to leave the house unless I can make it into a "good enough" college, i.e. Columbia (also personally my dream college). Okay, sorry, this is getting rantish. 'Tis over.

Thanks again!

MEANMOM's picture
MEANMOM

FIRST I'D LIKE TO SAY YOU SOUND VERY SMART AND RESPONSIBLE DON'T BREAK YOUR TRUST WITH YOUR PARENTS BY SNEAKING IF YOU GET CAUGHT THEY WOULD BE VERY DISAPPOINTED AND IT IS HARD TO GET THAT TRUST BACK 100% IS IT THAT IMPORTANT? SPEAK TO THEM ON AN ADULT MANNER NO ATTITUDE NO YELLING MAYBE WRITE OR TYPE UP A LETTER KINDA LIKE A BUSINESS PROPOSEL OR A SCHOOL ESSAY!!! THEY WOULD BE VERY IMPRESSED. SECOND WHAT ARE THE TEEN CURFEW LAWS WHERE YOU LIVE? MAYBE AN AUNT OR OLDER FAMILY MEMBER COULD GO WITH YOU. AND 11:00 IS ALITTLE LATE FOR A 14 YEAR OLD MY DAUGHTER IS ONLY ALOUD OUT TIL 11 WHEN SHE IS WITH HER 18 YR SISTER AND 10 P OTHER WISE UNLESS A MOVIE. TRY THESE THINGS AND DON'T LIE TO YOUR PARENTS, AND GREAT IDEA TO ASK FOR ADVICE. GOOD LUCK..