Hi all! Was hoping to maybe get some suggestions from you guys. Right now I am perplexed as to what to do to help my boys. Let me first say that my boys are being raised in a stable structured environment and we do have expectations and consequences for behaviors that are unacceptable.

Yesterday my boys were truly awful. It was a busy day where we had to do different errands and their behavior just was out of control. (and yes several of those errands had to be done then)They bickered and fought and called each other many different names. In one grocery store which I had just run in to pick up maybe 4 items my youngest son bit my oldest and then he responded my smacking my youngest son. This was all in front of my brother's boses wife who is a really nice person. Sad thing is that my oldest son loves to play with her daughter when we see them at picnics at my brother's house. Her children are such sweet well behaved children. So I seperated my boys even more and took the candy the girl had given them at the register.

Then their behavior at the YMCA I was told about. They were in child care for about an hour as I try to work out 3-4 times a week.

Then as I was in a store picking up an anniversary gift for my husband I ran into a coworker and my boys started to act up again. I only spoke with her probably 3-4 min. I had my youngest's hand because of him running off and also because of him going after my oldest son. He started yelling really loud and one man just turned around and stared at me. So anyways I got the two gift items for my husband and got out of the store as quickly as I could.

Before I ask my questions let me give you a little background info. about my kids. My oldest is being evaluated for Autism (very high functioning) and is on meds for ADD (med is at right level) and my youngest we are pretty sure is following his path especially with the ADD. We do not have him on meds at this point. We are told that with Autism kids don't read social cues, such as when we are upset, etc. When behavior is starting to get out of line I do tell my kids that I am upset with their behavior and I try to tell them what I expect out of them. Since I know that my oldest, especially, has trouble reading my expressions I tell them how I feel, etc.

Anyways, my questions are how do you make your children realize when they need to stop their behaviors and straighten up? How do you make them realize that you are very upset with their behavior and they have crossed the line with unacceptable behaviors? How do you get your kids to behave in public? I am so tired of being embarrassed because of their behavior.

I am hoping some of you guys have some ideas, especially if you have kids with similar diagnosis/disabilities. Thanks in advance for ideas.

Only

Dria,

Thanks for your thoughts. Do your children have autism?

I agree with not letting your children see you as weak or out of control when correcting them for poor behavior. Yes, I don't want to be trapped in my home and I refuse to be.

Children with autism/NLD don't read social cues and learn best by verbally being walked through situations. I guess I need to verbally talk to them more about what I expect before I go in to a store and while I am in the stores as well. Part of my problem is that my boys feed off of each other and they can be quite defiant.

I don't agree with people only looking at you that way because they don't think you are not handling your child right. That may be it some of the time, but not all the time. Some of the time I think they are looking at the child's behavior and not yours.

My children are more advanced intellectually and verbally, but socially they fall short, which causes a big discrepancy.

Thank you for your suggestions.

Only

It sounds like you are a really good parent. I think you are exceptional because unlike some you are fully aware of their conditions and how it affects them and care. I am certain you will find all the answers you need as you continue to love and nurture them. Often times as parents we learn our lessons through experience. I know it is difficult at times but no pain no gain right? You have a lot to gain by being the good parent you are. I wish you nothing but the best.