Pregnancy
Discussion Title: Aggressive freaking out 5 yr old!! HELP!!!
Created by: boobooswif...
Created on: Thu, 09/24/2009 - 9:02am.
Created by: boobooswif...
Created on: Thu, 09/24/2009 - 9:02am.
I have a 5 yr old who attends kindergarden. EVERY morning he throws a fit that he doesn't wanna go to school on the bus. It is soooooo bad that we have had to chase him around the front yard and he has locked us outta the house while the bus is coming. Most of the time I have to drive him kicking and screaming to school. He sceams I am the worst Mommy ever and he hates me! When we carry him to the bus stop at the end of our driveway, he will punch my hubby on the head and arms, bite, scream, kick and cry. He says we are just trying to get rid of him and he hates us. Once I get him to school he settles down and goes to his class....with tears....hugs me good-bye and has to be pryed off me by the teacher.
With me at home he will tip over the chairs in the house, throw things and dig the heck outta me if he doesn't get his own way. We have tried time outs on the couch, spanking on the butt, locking up his playroom, and taking away priviledges....to no avail. He just refuses to listen and every morning is a battle.
What are we to do???? I feel like I am failing him as a parent and am thinking he may need outside help. There is no divorce here, no family violent behavior, no moving around or anything else that would be dissruptive in his life. We are at our wits end.
Any help would be greatley appreciated!!!
Thanks a million in advance,
BooBoosWife
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Replied: 9/26/2009 9:05am.
Find out if the school has a psychologist or social worker who can help you. If not, find a private therapist or go to the state service center or whatever public child mental health service your area offers. This child is acting out in this way for a reason and you should do whatever you can to get to the bottom of the situation before it worsens.
Good luck!
Replied: 9/30/2009 10:05am.
Raven has a therapist appointment today to discuss things........letcha know how things go!
Thanks,
Michele
Replied: 9/30/2009 7:35pm.
Thank you for the update. A good therapist can help so much.
Replied: 10/1/2009 8:34am.
Grrrr! Went to the therapist and explained everything and stressed his aggression. After an hour, she came up with he has separation anxiety and should grow outta it. Only thing she suggested was rewarding him every day for getting onthe bus and to give him 1-2-3 time outs.......tell him, that's 1 before you go into time out..........that's 2 before you go into time out, ect. That's it.......she said we were doing everything else she woulda suggested. She even said he didn't need any more sessions. I said no way.....gimme at least 1 more session. i don't think she believes me how bad it is with him at times and how outta control he acts.
I am gonna make sure I have my digital camera fully charged at all times and get his behavior on it and the next session with the therapist I am gonna show it to her. Then she can see for herself what his behavior looks like and what we are going thru.
Any other suggestions?? I welcome them all and appreciate them dearly!
Thanks,
BBW
Replied: 10/1/2009 12:23pm.
As I said in my last post, a GOOD therapist can help so much.
Many children have separation anxiety but that is a separate issue from and does not explain the negative behavior at home. Also, the reasons behind your son's separation anxiety need to be uncovered and addressed and his feelings validated. Just offering him rewards to get on the bus will not solve the underlying issues.
My daughter had separation anxiey and did not grow out of it as early therapists suggested. She developed Social Anxiety Disorder in part because the separation anxiety was not fully addressed when she was your son's age. Though I have found both personally and professionally that some therapists under diagnose and some over diagnosis, it takes time to get the diagnosis and treatment right, not just one session. It took us years to find a therapist willing to put the time in to help my daughter. Keep on trying, it will be worth it!
Get the negative behavior on tape and see what she has to offer, if you are still not satisfied with the interventions, then go to another therapist.
Replied: 10/1/2009 5:08pm.
make sure there is not an underlying issue with the teacher and that he doesn't hate school because of it. Kindergarten is hard, but my son is literally an angel at home and was horribly behaved in kindergarten. We punished him daily, we tried the smile face charts, we took him to therapy and got the same answers you did. We didn't have any issues in 1st or 2nd grade...found out at the end of his 1st grade year that the teacher just basically gave up the 2nd week of school and would just not put up with any type of behavior and would haul him off to the principal.