missyp5564's picture
missyp5564

4 yr old son whines over everything!!!!

my son is almost 4 and is starting to whine and cry over everything. i pick out a shirt he starts rubbing his eyes and whining saying he doesnt want that shirt, there's not enought ketchup on his plate, he doesnt want chicken nuggets he doesnt want the pop tart broke in half his brother took a toy from him. his brother is 15 months old. i mean whatever he can, he will whine about. i need help i dont know how to break this. alot of it is from my mother (gma!!!) spoiling him and giving him anything he wants. ive gotten the "no" thing under control in a defiant way. but when i tell him alright lets have this he'll whine and go nooooooooooooooo i dont wanttttttt thattttttt and starts rubbing his eyes and puts his head down and makes crying sounds....please give me tips!!!!!



dghj2009's picture
dghj2009

I have gone through that and going through it again and I had to be more hard headed then them. When they would do it at a store I would take them to the bathroom and tell them they could throw the tantrum in here and not out there in the store. I stopped letting my kids go to my parents for a month and didn't let my parents buy them anything. If they did I would take it and put it in my room. When we were at home and they would start their tantrum I would tell them have fun because I don't want to listen to it and would walk away and start cleaning a different room until they were done. My oldest got out of it in just a few weeks and my middle is almost out of it after just a week. Some people have told me I'm mean for doing that but it worked and is still working.

dghj2009's picture
dghj2009

I have gone through that and going through it again and I had to be more hard headed then them. When they would do it at a store I would take them to the bathroom and tell them they could throw the tantrum in here and not out there in the store. I stopped letting my kids go to my parents for a month and didn't let my parents buy them anything. If they did I would take it and put it in my room. When we were at home and they would start their tantrum I would tell them have fun because I don't want to listen to it and would walk away and start cleaning a different room until they were done. My oldest got out of it in just a few weeks and my middle is almost out of it after just a week. Some people have told me I'm mean for doing that but it worked and is still working.

Only2boys's picture
Only2boys

At home I walk away from them, because they want attention. Is your child getting enough attention from you, is something you need to consider. Sometimes just need 15 min. of your time doing something they want to do with you. I know it is hard with our busy schedules.

I also will move away from them in a store, but be close enough that I can watch them, but maybe they can't see me.

Give choices where you can, but limit the choices. Do you want toast or a bagel for example. Don't say what do you want to eat... it could be a meltdown spell, especially if they tell you something you don't want to give them.

It is hard. We've used time outs and holds at the guidance of our therapist. Sometimes it is just a control issue with them.

I would suggest that if this continues, that you might want to check into something else being wrong with your child. This kind of behavior can be signs of ODD, PDD, etc. Just don't let it continue too long without checking your child out with a dr. and maybe a therapist.

Good luck and I hope things improve for you. Hang in there.