Frustratedmom29's picture
Frustratedmom29

3 year old won't eat

Help! My 3 year old daughter won't eat. I fix her what she says she would like and she won't eat. My parents just say oh well, but it agrivates me a lot. She always gets away with not eating and I'm sick of it. I can't stand it! I want her to eat but I don't know how. Any ideas???



xandersstepmom's picture
xandersstepmom
i'm in the same boat with Alexander, i found that if you put it in front and them them eat it or don't. then walk away. it works if she doesn't eat if no snack and she doesn't get anything until the next meal. at one point Alex refused to eat anything (even pizza what kid doesn't want pizza?) but now he is starting to get it. yesterday at lunch all he ate was the fruit and veg and would not touch the sandwich, but by supper he ate it all. they wont starve themselves i know how frustrating it is i am in the same place. hope this helps even just knowing someone else in in the same spot. :)
Frustratedmom29's picture
Frustratedmom29
So just put the food in front of her and leave it there? The only thing is her grandparents give her sweets behind my back even though she doesnt eat her meals. So its extra frustrating.
mayamay's picture
mayamay
Talk to her grandparents about helping her have an appetite by letting her have an hour before meal time without extra food. Apart from that, the more it bothers you, the bigger the problem will be for her. It's very hard, but relax. When you are finished eating, clear away her place, too. Make sure she gets enough to eat, even if it means a snack halfway between lunchtime and dinnertime. If kids go hungry for too long, they stop being hungry.
Frustratedmom29's picture
Frustratedmom29
Ok. I will try that. Talking to my parents gets me now where fast. They refuse to listen and then come after me verbally about my parenting skills being bad in front of her. And then they wonder why she doesnt listen to me. The only way she will listen to me is when I get out of this house! But unfortunately I am still looking for a place thankfully I am getting help from section 8 since I lost my job in may for taking care of my child when she was sick. So I am stuck home with my parents and I get no respect from them and my child sees this so she decided to not listen to me either. I am stuck in Hell and I dont know how to cope!
drdave's picture
drdave
If your parents do not get on the same page with you, your child will not listen much. See if your parents will meet you half way and try something for a week together to see if it will work. Maybe ask your parents if you could each take turns fixing meals for the family and together hold off on snacks before dinner time. By the way, will your child eat what the grandparents fix for her? If your child won't eat what the grandparents make either, then maybe they will work with you for "their" grandchild's sake. If she does eat when the grandparents fix a meal, then the food issue has a lot to do with the "split" between the parents and you. In my book (Your child is defiant), I have a chapter about how divisions between the parental figures can cause defiance in children. Hope this helps, Drdave
Frustratedmom29's picture
Frustratedmom29
My child doesnt eat no matter who cooks. This week she is getting better with eating and worse with her overall attitude. She always says no, she wont do as she is told. If I( her mother) tell her no or if I give her an answer she doesnt like, she goes running to my parents (her grandparents). Like a tattle tale. I dont know how to deal with this! I tell my parents to listen to me and for my daughters sake allow me to be the parent since I am her mother. They always say they do, but they dont. They put me down in front of her. Then as a result, she doesnt listen to me at all.
mayamay's picture
mayamay
See if your parents would be willing to come with you so all of you could learn some techniques to help your daughter. If they will, find a therapist or a parenting class. If they won't, work with a social worker to help you move out. This is a bad situation for your daughter.
Frustratedmom29's picture
Frustratedmom29
Luckily, I am already working on a way to get out. I have section 8 housing on my side. Right now I am looking for a place for myself and my child. Ihope to be out soon. It is too stressfull and it is not good for my daughter to see and hear everything that goes on.
dawgfan's picture
dawgfan
Hi there, Kids sure do have a way of trying a mom's patience, don't they? We can't force them to eat, but like the others have said, there are ways that you can help them to be hungry - kids do eventually tend to eat what their bodies need. It seems like there's more to it than this though.I can tell you're trying your best to be consistent with daughter. I also sense that you're feeling undermined by your parents. Yours is a very challenging situation, to be sure. Do you think your parents might be open to some outside advice? Or maybe willing to read a parenting book? I work with Focus on the Family and if you'd like to talk to someone, you can call this help line: 855/771-4357 - and it's free. One of my favorite authors of parenting materials is Kevin Leman. He's written many books, and the one called Making Children Mind without Losing Yours might be a good place to start. Maybe your parents would be willing to read this along with you. Hang in there!
Frustratedmom29's picture
Frustratedmom29
No my parents won't go to a class or anything, they think that it is my fault that my daughter is the way she is. At this moment luckily it seems like everything is settled down and doing ok. Yes there are some fights and struggles which still do get bad, but things seem to be at peace. I think things will improve as soon as I move out which will be soon I hope! I want to thank everyone for their ideas and support.