NolaMom's picture
NolaMom

10 year old is disrespectful

I am a single mother to a 10 year old boy, I do everything I can for my son and he has no respect for me! It’s not like he’s lacking affection, I show him lots of it, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t tell him that I love him.

I had him when I was young, his dad has not been in his life consistently but my dad and my 2 older brothers have always been father figures to him. I also have a boyfriend that I’ve been with for 2 years that will do anything for my son.

In school, he’s the perfect kid, always on the honor roll, no discipline problems, etc... But outside of school, he’s a totally different kid, ALWAYS back talking, mumbling under his breath, always have to have the last word, and the things he tells me is unreal, this morning he even if’ed at me. (Acted as if he would hit me).

I know every 10 year old probably goes through the back talking stage but the way he talks to me is so disrespectful. I’ve tried spankings, punishment, taking away privileges but nothing seems to bother him. I can sit him down and have a heart to heart with him and the “good kid” act only lasts for a couple of days, then he’s back to the disrespectful son again.

A couple of weeks ago, he took $20 from his grandmother’s house and tried to lie to me about it, several months ago he tried taking money off my dresser, too. I feel as if I’m failing as a parent, I’m raising him the best that I could, I just don’t know what to do. I told him that he’s going to end up in a juvenile center if he doesn’t straighten up. It’s not like he’s out running the streets, our day is pretty much- school, then sports then home. Maybe I should punish him from his sports but I would rather have him in sports than have him in front of play station every day.

What scares me the most is that he’s only 10. I need to get him in line before he’s 14 or 15 and he’s bigger than me!
Please give me advice!



jos635's picture
jos635

When my kids are out of line, I notice that I have slacked in my follow thru. My children are younger. My wife is who is a praised educator with admin experience as well really has a handle on them. When our kids do something wrong, she is very calm and says, "Was that a good decision? We've discuseed this..." Then she states the punishment and sticks to it. Even when it ruins our fun or etc. and will not budge. Where I will threat on and on until I loose it. Her method works soooo much better!

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Good advice, jos. Take away sports AND playstation if you have to. Do whatever it takes to get that respect back. You also have to take a look at yourself and ask, why is my son doing this? Give your son his independence to do what he wants only if he earns your trust and it's a reasonable request. Don't say no to every little thing or your son will probably end up rebelling. Respect him, and he'll respect you. As for the stealing, your son needs to understand the severity of his actions. Maybe you can make him "pay back" the $ by doing chores around the house and helping his grandma w/ her needs. Try to nip this behavior in the butt now, before things really get out of hand. Good luck!

carolinagirltu's picture
carolinagirltu
I am a divorced mom of 6yrs my son and sister goes week on week off to each parents/I have always babied my youngest son.. Now I live with my boyfriend of 1yr/he has 2kid boy 13/girl 16 my daughter is 13 almost 14 my son is very disrespectable to others and thinks everything should be about him/he will not listen to me when instructed to have to yell at him to listen. Boyfriend will step in when he does not listen. My son is ADD and very high strung he acts like everyone is always picking on him its always someone else's fault never his... he is always right and no one else is but wants everything when he wants it.. He does not act this way around his dad or when his mom is not around.. only when I am there with ... Help I can't live like this can't afford counceling What can I do to keep my sanity.....