nikkiekck's picture

A hard time in life...

I just found out my 12 year old daughter has PTLD a rare type of brain tumor caused by transplant medication she had a kidney transplat 2 years ago on halloween. It has been a rough time for me to deal with ex being a jerk to me,car breaking down and now my fiance feeling unhappy i have so much stress oh yeah and i am 6 months pregnant.I have 2 other children to care for also. I know he must be having a hard time dealing with this but now i just feel so alone,,unloved and unwanted any advice?? I am doing my best to divide my time to everyone.

SnglDad's picture

Nikki, first of all let me say that I am terribly sorry to hear about your daughters diagnosis. It looks as if she has had more challenges than most of us will ever know. My now ex wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2002. That was the most terrifying time in my life, I could not imagine it happening to my children. Regardless of how the ex feels, and your fiancée, you are not alone, unwanted, nor unloved. When my wife was in the hospital for almost five months, and then a nursing home for seven months, I did my best to divide my time between the kids and being there for my wife. It was a time to put my fears, desires, and needs aside. This was a time to truly focus on those who were depending on me. As I look back, those were dark times in my life. Having gone through it I learned more about myself than I ever knew. I am trying not to ramble here. Let me just say that right now, you, as a parent have no choice but to focus on your children and yourself. Anyone who is not directing their concerns in the same areas as you, is selfish and will be more of a burden during this trying time. Focus on you and the kids, all the others are adults, more than capable of taking care of themselves. Please keep us updated as to your daughters condition.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

SnglDad is right. You need to focus on yourself and your children. Do you have any support from family or friends? Maybe a support group or counceling cld help? My mom was sick for 10 yrs after being diagnosed w/ bone marrow cancer. It was hard for me to see her like that, but like SnglDad said, put your emotions aside and be there for your children. Also, try to take care of yourself as best as you can b/c your children need you now more than ever. I'll be thinking of you and praying that you remain strong through this difficult time.