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Discussion Title: my 3 year old daughter cry when i drop her off to pre-school
Created by: morgantra
Created on: Fri, 05/09/2008 - 12:23pm.
My daughter that is 3 year old has been in pre-k .She has been going to school since she was one. she always talk about school and she loves to go . but for almost 2 weeks she cry when i drop her off. when i ask her if there is something thats happen in school to you(she) does not want to go any more she tells me will( i did not give you a kiss to give to daddy) she not giving me a good answer. I alway walked she to her class but know that she makes a big thing they will not let me take her down to her class.. I hear that after i leave she calm down and haves a great day .. she will be starting kindergarden in august. I dont know if she had enough of pre-k. Can someone give me any advice or i'm i doing the right thing Thanks for you help..  
Author: junieg
Replied: 5/10/2008 6:07am.
Have a talk with her teacher and find out if anything has changed or happened that may have upset her. Does she mix and play with the other children, has the teacher seen any conflicts with other children?
I have to say that the scenario is very normal - a child clings to their parent and doesn't want them to leave. As soon as the parent is even halfway down the corridor outside, the child is absorbed and totally happy with some activity in the room and is fine. Perhaps just to reassure yourself you could leave her in the room and go have a coffee. Is there a family room there where you can hang out briefly? Leave her for about 15 minutes then go back and watch her secretly. You may be surprised. We have special viewing spaces in our corridor wall where parents can watch their child covertly.
We also make up special books for all our children called Personal Learning Plans, and it is the child's keyworker who will keep them up to date. In it are all the observations and photographs of the child's activities to support and show evidence of aspects of their development. It gives a very good window and insight into the child's day in nursery and parents are reassured often with this. Does your nursery do something like this?
If you are still worried after talking to the teacher, perhaps you could suggest they do a time sample where they will write down every half hour or so what your child is doing and who if anyone she is playing with or interacting with. This can also be very helpful.
I hope things work out for you both. Please try not to worry too much.
Author: concerned ...
Replied: 5/14/2008 11:45am.
Another perspective: Has anything changed at home that has directly affected your daughter? For expl, is there a new baby, a divorce situation, or a move? These are all things that cld be affecting your daughter's behavior b/c she may be seeking attention or just doesn't know how to deal w/ the situation. How is your daughter's behavior at home? If this behavior is only happening at school and none of these other scenerios apply, then definitely (as junieg suggested) speak to the teacher to see if something is going on in school: Have there been any changes in staff, the routine, the children in the class.... Also talk to other parents to see if they've had similiar problems. Overall, I agree w/ junieg in that this is most "normal" behavior. I used to work in a pre-school, and at that age, this happened all the time. Pay particular attention to the other kids when you drop your daughter off to school. Sometimes when one child starts crying, the others start, causing a chain reaction. It is best, though, for you to leave right away, b/c most often the child will calm down w/in minutes of the parent leaving. This seems mean, and it's often harder for the parent, but if there's a real problem, the school will call you.
Another idea: If after ruling everything out, you still have trouble, make a deal w/ your daughter. Tell her if she goes into school w/out crying, and the teacher says she had a good day, she can get rewarded (let her choose the reward--whether it be icecream, the park or whatever). Make a big deal about her being a "big girl", and focus less on the negative behavior. Be consistent.
Also, just curious. You mentioned that your daughter is 3, and she'll be entering kindergarten soon. Isn't that a bit young for kindergarten? In our area, kids don't usually attend kindergarten until they're at least 5 or 6 yrs old. Maybe your daughter's just going through a stage, and she's not emotionally ready to move on. I don't know what the rules are where you are, but you shld definitely look into that. Good luck!
Author: ian23
Replied: 5/29/2008 4:16am.
maybe she wants to be with you in class..Ü or maybe she'll miss you everytime you dropped her from school...Ü